#I NEED STAR TREK SITCOM OK

[steakout-05]

ok so i'm a newer Star Trek fan and i've just been watching TNG (since that's the one i'm the most attached to + my dad really likes that one as well) and haven't watched much of TOS yet. but i am really interested in TOS and plan on watching it when i finish TNG, so for starters i thought i'd check out the main opening to the original series and oh my fucking god???? it sounds like a silly family sitcom and i'm just????? i LOVE it????????? but i wasn't expecting it at ALL because i'm so used to hearing the bold adventurous grand composition of TNG's opening, so when i got past the "space, the final frontier" bit only to have silly goofy sitcom music start blasting i just got struck with so much tonal whiplash that i actually thought i was listening to a spoof version at first. but then it set in and i was like "oh my god wait this is real this is what the opening actually fucking sounds like. holy shit. i love it so much" and i gotta ask: is the rest of TOS like this? just like a silly 60s space sitcom with spirk yaoi? because if it is then holy cow holy smokes i need to watch all of it immediately

[twig-tea]

Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people

I was tagged by @sorry-bonebag and @bengiyo (thank you both!). It's funny to see so many folks talk about not having 10, when I had trouble narrowing it down 🤣 So, here are shows I've reached for for comfort recently, in no particular order:

Until We Meet Again. Listen, I get that it's depressing, but it also ends and mends the intergenerational trauma set up in the first 15 minutes, and in the Dean/Pharm storyline the show queues up typical drama problems just for everything to be fine, it is SO comforting. And if I need to cry, ep1 part 1 will get me there, guaranteed.

Azumanga Daioh. This show...is so weird lol. It's a 20-year-old anime at an all-girls high school. There is a 10-year-old prodigy, a weirdo transfer student, a butch beauty, a simp, a loud class clown...it's not exactly GL because the girl who has a massive crush on her classmate never does anything about it and that's not really the plot. There is no actual plot, it's extremely slice-of-life except when it ventures into absurdity. It's extremely quiet and chill for this reason. The stakes are so low!

Star Trek: The Original Series. Like Ben, I am a Star Trek fan forever. TOS is my favourite and I've rewatched... a lot. Rather than the stakes being low, they're high but everyone is exceptionally competent and can solve impossible situations. And I really, deeply love the problem-of-the-week style storytelling and found family vibes.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? Everyone already knows this one, it's so good. Their relationship is so wonderful and the food is delicious and inspiring. In this show, things aren't perfect and that's ok, and I get deep comfort out of that.

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line. I love a sports anime, and this hits the key notes: you have to have love for the game and play with integrity and with your team in mind, and never give up on your dream. And this installation was pretty short, so easy to binge.

Our Dating Sim. This is recent but I've already decided to go back and rewatch this rather than start something new at least twice, so I'm counting it. Something about how these two settle into the friends to lovers dynamic is just delightful their familiarity and ease transfers to me through the screen.

Ingredients the series. Everyone calls this our pandemic comfort commercial for a reason. I have rewatched it a LOT. It is incredibly domestic and very chill, and once again full of good food. It helps that the episodes are so short so again, it's an easy binge.

Avatar: The Last Airbender (series). Another one that lands on multiple people's lists. This show is incredible and has such good character arcs. I will never get over how perfect the change in Zuko was handled. This one is partially comforting because of how long it's been in my life and how many times I've watched it, but also the found family vibes and the problem of the week format once again is very comforting to me.

Love Sick. I know. But it is the first BL I saw, and it stuck with me. I usually skip around the BL cut when I go back to this (which I still do). Pun and Noh spend a lot of time together in silence or with the OSTs playing, and do a lot of talking in body language and eye contact. Even though they're young and awkward and things are unresolved for so long, when they're together just the two of them this show (and their relationship) is easy and comforting.

60s Batman. There are several sitcoms that I would watch an episode or two if it's on (Frasier, the Nanny, Third Rock from the Sun, Golden Girls, Schitt's Creek), but the Adam West Batman is just... incredible. It is so silly. It is so earnest. It was ahead of its time. And once again, that problem of the week storytelling with incredibly competent characters is deeply comforting to me.

[Also shout-out to sorry-bonebag's Taskmaster mention because i have definitely rewatched it a bunch too!]

Tagging @italianpersonwithashippersheart @callipigio @my-rose-tinted-glasses @chickenstrangers @justafriend-ql @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @visualtaehyun @solitarywandering @thewayofsubtext @respectthepetty no pressure as always!

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep 14: Message in a Bottle

I always forget which one this is, because the title doesn't really describe it well- but if they'd have wanted a descriptive title, they'd have had to call it 'Silly Shenanigans in Space', which doesn't exactly have the gravitas Star Trek usually goes for lol

So in this one, there's actually a pretty important plot about finding a seemingly abandoned alien relay network, which they use to try to get a message to a Starfleet ship on the edge of the Alpha Quadrant. They can't get a regular message through, so they send the Doctor's program instead. (Though how it would be easier to send an EMH hologram than a short audio message, idk- but for the sake of the plot, okay, sure.)

Once the Doctor arrives there, he finds the crew killed off and the ship taken over by Romulans. It's an experimental ship, filled with experimental tech, including an upgraded EMH, played by one of the most annoying actors they could have found, Andy Dick. (He was on a popular sitcom at the time, I don't remember which, but it was obviously meant to get ratings, so ok, whatever.) From there, it becomes EMH insult smackdown, plus fish out of water comedy as two incredibly bitchy and egocentric emergency medical holograms try to retake the ship and fight off some Romularn warbirds, all without knowing what any of the bridge controls do. They're unabashedly playing it for comedy, and it mostly works, but I thought it was a little too silly of a tone for the situation they were in.

And then for subplot number 1, we have more Dumbass Shenanigans with Tom being worried that he'll have to be assigned to sickbay permanently if the Doctor doesn't make it back. He cajoles Harry into trying to construct a replacement EMH from scratch. It obviously doesn't work, and it's honestly the stupidest shenanigan they ever get themselves into. It feels exactly like one of Jake and Nog's teenage schemes on DS9, and not something that grown ass adults who've graduated from Starfleet Academy would do. I usually love when Tom and Harry get up to silly shenanigans, but this was just too stupid. (But then so is the whole idea that Tom would be the most qualified person on board to be a medic in the first place. What about Ensign Wildman? She's a xenobiologist for heaven's sake! Surely she took way more medical courses than a pilot who majored in astrophysics! Don't tell me all the science officers on board aren't a better choice than their primary helmsman.)

The second subplot is another one that I didn't care for- I hate that they're making B'Elanna and Seven fight all the time now, especially when they seemed to be making a real effort to work with each other before. I also hate how Chakotay acts like B'Elanna's the one being unreasonable when she's telling him about Seven's behavior, which frankly wouldn't be tolerated from anyone else. But apparently Seven is Janeway and Chakotay's precious pet Borg now, so she gets to ignore Starfleet protocol and do whatever she wants. (Put her in a uniform!! If they could make the Maquis part of the Starfleet crew, they can do the same for Seven. It's not like she's Neelix making stew in the mess hall- if she's working in vital ship departments like engineering and astrometrics, she needs to be part of the command structure and follow rules just like everyone else. The first two seasons were all about how important and necessary it was to the ship's survival to do everything the Starfleet way- now suddenly Janeway just abandoned that?? Because Seven is a special blonde Borg babe?? What??) I really feel like having two of only three main female characters suddenly fight all the time and hate each other was even worse than having two female characters never talk to each other at all. Do not pit two bad bitches against each other!!! That's not feminism!! To say nothing of backwards character development. And this one was a written by a woman too, like come on, girl, why???

In the end, the clueless EMH's defeat the Romulans against the odds, and the Doctor returns to Voyager before the aliens who own the communication relay disconnect them. He brings the message that he talked to Starfleet HQ, who now know Voyager is still out there. Starfleet had declared Voyager officially lost a little over a year ago, but now they'll reverse that status, and inform their families that they're still alive, and do what they can to bring them home. It's an important milestone for the Voyager crew, despite the silly episode that precipitated it.

Tl;dr: Pretty much a crack episode, played almost entirely for laughs, despite the plotline that was actually pretty high stakes and important. Fun if you like the Doctor, not so much if you don't.

[cajunroe]

winnix + star trek!au ↳ only two things in nix’s life were able to completely capture and hold his full attention: space and richard winters. it just so happened that both managed to become his life. when dick had told nix he wanted to join starfleet, nix has thanked whatever was out there that he’d get to go to the place he wanted to go the most with the man he wanted the most. after they graduate, dick is made captain of their own ship and he chooses nix as his 1st lieutenant, and nix feels complete. he knows that dick would never want him in the way nix wants the redhead, but to explore, fight, and survive side-by-side with him for the rest of their lives is enough. and everything is going according to plan until they’re blindsided by romulans and nix is taken hostage. this wasn’t really his plan, but so longs as he can keep them away from the heavily damaged u.s.s. easy, he’ll be fine. he’s nearly died for dick more times than he can count, if he has to die for real, he’s more than willing to, it’s worth it to save the man he loves and the crew he’s grown to call his family. 

nix swallowed heavily, sweat dripping along his face, mixing with the blood from the open wound on his head.

he always hate how hot romulans kept their holding cells.

he sighed and leaned against the wall, laughing at the absurdity that he’d die at the hands of beings that still insisted on metal holding cells. so much technology at their hands and they still used metal. he shrugged, it was still effective.

one of his designated guards walked towards him and nix smiled. if he was going to die at their hands, he was going to have a little bit of fun with it.

“are all of your people’s ships so god awful or is it just yours?”

the man only grunted and unlocked the door before yanking nix out of the cell.

“you don’t have to be so rough, i know how to walk.”

“yet you do not know when to stop speaking.”

nix shrugged, “you sound a lot like my parents.”

dick was lost, screaming, and trying his hardest to connect to the ship, but it was gone.

roe was attending to the injured. luz and lip were trying to get the comms back online. and speirs and toye were loading himself with as many weapons as possible. 

“lip?” he asked, voice rough with emotion and fear. 

lip just shook his head and dick kicked his captain’s chair to the ground.

the men went silent and looked at dick, never before seeing the man this upset.

“captain?” blithe called out softly.

dick sighed, “yeah.”

“i may have reactivated the transmitter on lieutenant nixon’s comm, sir. he’s not far off.”

dick smiled and pulled his chair back up.

“lieutenant lipton.”

lip smiled, “yes, sir?”

"let’s get ‘em.”

as far as being held hostage, nix thought people’s tale were often over-exaggerated.

so far, it’s been a breeze, but he knew it was only a matter of time until shit hit the fan.

as it turned out, that time was now.

“my name is vumiuhk. and you are?”

“bored.”

vumiuhk looked confused and nix took pity on him.

“lewis, my name is lewis.”

the romulan nodded, “very well. i do like to know the name of men i’m about to kill.”

nix sighed, “can i ask you something?”

“i suppose,” vumiuhk responded.

“why do you want to kill me? i mean, i’ve done nothing untoward to you. i haven’t harmed any of your men. all we did was show up near your ship. we didn’t even see you.”

nix was trying to keep them talking, give the men time to get away. 

vumiuhk seemed to think this over.

“look i’m not trying to talk my way out of death, i’m just curious why you attacked us when we showed no signs of attacking you. honestly we were just looking for the trading market on undular 12.”

vumiuhk laughed, “as were we. it seems we’re on the same path, lewis.”

nix smiled, for his soon-to-be-murderer the man was surprisingly easy to talk to.

“they have the best coffee this side of the galaxy.”

vumiuhk seemed to think something over before reaching a decision.

“theritis, set a course for undular 12. lewis here deserves a last cup of coffee.”

vumiuhk winked at nix and if he weren’t about to die, lewis would’ve found it odd.

unfortunately, it was at that exact moment that a familiar voice rang through the speaker system.

“give us our man back or else i have full authority to kill each and everyone of you.”

nix sighed and when vumiuhk looked at him in surprised, nix shrugged.

this was by far the oddest hostage situation in recent memory and that included the time babe had almost married a xindi during a hostile negotiation.

“d-do you mind?”

vumiuhk gestured for nix to use the comms.

“ron stop being weird. i’m fine.”

dick came through the line and nix’s heart stopped.

“nix? what’s going on?”

nix sighed, “nothing, just hanging out with my new friend vumiuhk.”

he looked to vumiuhk who looked like he was watching a circus act and nix guessed they were as close to that as they could be. 

“nix, i-i...are you okay?”

nix smiled, “just fine, captain. vumi and i are going to get a nice cup of coffee on u-12. care to join us?”

nix heard dick laugh and he knew he could die happy, hearing that sound one last time. 

“we’re right behind you, lieutenant. flash.”

nix laughed, “thunder.”

nix turned to vumiuhk and when the romulan spoke, nix was completely surprised by what he asked.

“your husband is very concerned for you. you are lucky to know such love.”

nix blushed and stuttered out, “h-he’s...w-we....w-what?”

vumiuhk slapped nix on the back and he swore his shoulder dislocated slightly. 

“do not worry, lewis. we do not judge. but i cannot bear to separate such love. if i lost theritis, i do not know if i could live.”

nix looked to theritis and saw the same smile on his face that dick always had when nix made his smile. it was jarring to say the least. 

“theritis please set the course as quickly as possible.”

nix shook his head and sat down heavily in the chair by the control board.

“well, i’ll be damned.”

the moment dick saw nix in the market, he ran towards him. he didn’t care what was happening or what would happen, he just needed to know, need to feel that nix was okay. 

he shouted nix’s name and once the man turned to him, he began running as well. 

as soon as they met, dick expected a hug, instead nix’s lips crashed into his and his hands enveloped dick’s neck.

it was a high that dick had never felt before, not when he first went into space and saw the stars up close, not when he flew his ship for the first time, not even when he had led his first solo mission. and it was a high that he never wanted to come down from. 

nix pulled away abruptly and pushed dick slightly before pulling the redhead back towards him. 

“why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

dick smiled, “i never knew how.”

“you’re an idiot, you know that?”

dick smiled and pulled nix closer to him.

“yeah, but you love it.”

nix blushed, “yeah i do.”

just then the rest of the team came out and hugged the two of them. 

nix turned and saw vumiuhk and called him over. 

the men stood still, poised to strike, but nix wave his arm.

“boys, this is vumiuhk and theritis and their crew. vumi, ther, this is my crew.”

one awkward silence, two hours later, and countless drinks later, the two crews were thick as thieves.

buck, babe, and luz were showing a group of romulan engineers how to play darts.

speirs, lip, and johnny were discussing the best way to enhance weapons.

the rest of the men dispersed inside the bar, all having a great time and causing trouble.

dick, nix, vumiuhk an theritis all looked on with a shared fondness.

“your men are very good humans. you are a family, no?”

nix smiled, his hand entwined with dick’s, “yeah, we’re family.”

“your men are good too. i like how your engineers are pretending to fail at darts.”

vumiuhk laughed, “others think us brutes, but we are a very polite people. well, most of us.”

dick whispered into nix’s ear, “you do realize you managed to make friends with romulans. something no one else in starfleet has ever been able to do.”

nix laughed, “i knew my mouth was good for something.”

dick looked down as nix licked his lips.

“i can think of a lot of other good uses for your mouth too.”

theritis sighed, “oh vumiuhk, remember when we were so young?”

vumiuhk smiled, “theritis, we’re still young. perhaps we should visit the falls of the cordula belt again?”

theritis smiled and kiss vumiuhk chastely, as though it still made him nervous to show such affection. 

nix looked to dick, just to take in his features, but dick was already looking at him. 

nix laughed, “did you know that vumi here thought you were my husband?”

dick blushed, “really?”

vumiuhk smiled, “yes captain. if you are not already, you soon will be.”

dick nodded and turned to nix.

nix swore he could read dick’s mind and jerked his head toward the direction of the universal chapel outside the city. 

“going my way?”

dick place a firm and heated kiss on nix’s lips in answer. 

anonymous - thank you!!!!!

send me a pairing and an au and i’ll make an aesthetic post + ficlet

[batfoonery]

Binge-worthy (Batfam Headcanons)

My brain has been on the fritz, so binging shows and completing fiber craft wips has been about the only non-classwork activity I can handle.

Dick

Doesn't often binge watch shows, if ever. He doesn't like feeling like he's wasting time in front of a screen when he could be out there working a case, doing a job, saving a kitten from a tree or helping an old lady with groceries, etc etc.

Sometimes he can't sleep though, and there are two shows that are always on somewhere in the variety of his cable package: Law & Order SVU and Criminal Minds. Sometimes Dami snuggles up with him and they share ice cream and cry over SVU stories that hit a little too close to home until dawn comes to cleanse the morning.

He's seen just about every episode of each. And he has a Lot Of Feelings about SVU.

Be the Olivia Benson that you want to see in the world.

Jason

You cannot tell me this child does not love nasty TLC dramas. Say Yes to the Dress (he likes Atlanta best, but the og is also *chef's kiss*), Seeking Sister Wives, I Love a Mama's Boy, 90 Day Fiance, My 600lbs Life.... He's seen them all.

There are some days where it is too icky out for villains, so he holes himself up in a safehouse with snacks otherwise banned from the mannor, and alternates between trashy tv shows and classic lit.

Steph, Cass, and Babs usually break in and they all end up falling asleep screeching at the tv together.

Cass

No one ever sees her actually watching tv or streaming any shows online, but she's always up to date with the popular programs.

Knows all the good B99 quotes, and always deploys them with the best timing. It drives Tim crazy because he's always trying to watch them with her but they're always too busy.

The secret is she watches everything with Bruce. It's their bonding time, snacking on Alfred-approved pre-patrol snacks and having peaceful time before patrol.

Tim

Kinda watches things? But kinda doesn't. He plays things in the background while doing other things. So he gets the stories, but doesn't always get the details.

Loves all the different Star Treks and also some older programs, like I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, Gilligan's Island, MASH.... Old sitcoms make him nostalgic, because his dad used to enjoy them.

Sometimes if he's having a bad day he'll watch one and kind of just doze in and out, not really paying attention.

On those days, Alfred sits with him if he has the time. Tim's out of it, like his brain is resetting, and Alfred will just kinda pet his head, make sure he's getting fluids (tea, non-caffeinated, or flavored water). They don't talk, and it's possible that Tim isn't even fully aware that he's there. But it's nice.

Duke

When my man binges, he BINGES. Sometimes they don't see him for days. That's how he got through all of the (modern) seasons of Dr. Who (Ten and Rose always make him tear up, but Dr. River Song is his favorite character. She's a chaotic sass machine that he aspires to emulate).

Bounces around from genre to genre. Likes fantasy, comedy, sci-fi... isn't as big on slice of life. Binging is a good way to escape, and he takes full advantage.

Famous binges have included: The Witcher, Witches of Waverly Place, Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Phineas and Ferb, The October Faction, The Order, The Haunting of Hill House, Modern Family, and Sherlock.

Damian

Duke got him hooked on anime. He literally reads manga in canon it isn't exactly a big leap. Unlike Duke, he enjoys slice of life, with maybe limited fantasy. Fruits Basket, Shugo Chara!, and Blue Exorcist are all things he's watched and enjoyed, but that's about as "fantasy" as he'll get.

Found family/friends are his favorite types of story. Kabukibu! is one that he found particularly charming.

That being said, if a show has particularly stunning animation, even if it isn't his favorite genre, he'll watch it. The first few seasons of RWBY, for example.

Oh my GOD LAND OF THE LUSTROUS. Dick agreed to binge watch it with him on a whim and they ended up not emerging from the bed until they'd seen all the episodes. No food, no sleep. Just story and beautiful perfect animation. When they were seen again they were in tears and demanded that Bruce figure out how to fund a second season. He told him that he'd work on it and be the hero that we all need, I NEED MORE OK?!

[hopekiedokie]

Mall is Life | INTRO : She’s Broke, He’s Broke, We’re All Broke!

Summary: Your dad thinks it’s best for you to pay off the credit card that you just maxed out. Meaning, it’s time for you to finally get your very first job…at the mall. As a true blue spoiled daughter from a very rich family, what could possibly happen? Form a labour union and overthrow the oppressive government with 7 other underpaid and overworked guys??? Or maybe just form a bond with them and have the best time of your life?

Pairing: bts x reader

Genre: mall!au, lowkey a sitcom, fluff, eventual angst, and a whole lot of pure crack

Word count: 5.3k+

Notes: As I’m doing final rewrites for this, I overheard my co-teacher call one of our students a “crack” and I honestly have never related hard to a student. Anyways, transferring this from gdocs to tumblr took sooooo long. I literally aged 10 years. I didn’t think writing in this style would be such a pain so I really do hope you enjoy this! Keep safe and hang on while the world still seems like it’s on its way to destruction.

Posted on: 8th of Jan, 2021

— • masterlist | Character Guide | INTRO | next • —

Red

Red is all you see.

Your vision has been clouded by the colour red since the moment you stepped inside the mall.

Sale season is upon you and red tags are everywhere!

Buy one get one for a girlfriend sized “boyfriend t-shirt”, a free cookie if you get 7 drinks, 5% off on your next purchase from Kucci and… Gasp! 75% off for a light sabre handheld immersion blender???

Do you even cook or watch Star Trek or whatever it’s called? Heck no.

bUT IT’S MORE THAN HALF OFF and it looks cool so might as well get it.

Right?

You saunter off towards the sights of free or marked down signs to start making damages.

“Ehem.”

The sound of your best friend, Taehyung’s voice, freezes you in place and you feel like a kid caught in the act of stealing a candy.

Literally, you have both your hands in front of you with your mouth open and watering.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” His hands are placed on his hips, like a slightly inconvenienced Karen.

“Oh, uh...I was just, you know!? About to admire the general splendour!”

He was like, ya right sweetie.

“Shut up. This isn’t a Jane Austen book.”

Well, one can dream.

And lowkey, you were kinda expecting him to not get the reference.

…or even understand what you just said.

Damn.

You really need to give Taehyung some credit.

He is after all, your best friend and that is an achievement in itself.

“Focus, y/n. FOCUS. We’re here on a mission, don’t get distracted.”

Ugh, right.

Reality hit you again like a ton of bricks.

“And as if you can afford anything! Unless, you’re in for some service water.”

You scoff hard.

Though he isn’t lying.

See, the thing is, your family is rich.

Like rich 𝑹𝑰𝑪𝑯.

Like “rent a whole stadium for your dad’s morning run” rich

You, alone, though?

ʰᵉ ʰᵉ ʰᵉ

“Sorry, you’re absolutely right. We’re here for one thing only and that is to find a job! We’re not leaving until we get one.”

And that’s what you did for the next two hours

Job hunting

You might be wondering, “If we're so rich then why are we looking for a job?”

Well kids, let me tell you a quick story.

Here’s what happened

A week ago, you had probably the most embarrassing yet most eye opening experience of your life.

You were shopping

(like duh do you have anything else to do?)

And your credit card got…

Wait for it…

…………….

🚫DECLINED🚫

◉.◉

Like, that can happen????

Next thing you know, you’re on the phone with your dad and he is MAD

You don’t even know why he is so pressed about it.

Okay, so you maxed out one of his seemingly endless supply of credit cards.

BIG DEAL.

It’s not like he lost a bunch of money.

Maybe to a normal person, yeah…

BUT to you guys?

Come on! He can earn that money back in like two days.

Besides, he always goes on saying that he'd willingly give everything for you, his one and only princess.

bUT NOoOOoo! He has to teach you to be rEsPoNsIbLe with money! You need to be a 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏.

"What? You think I'm a money making machine here?"

Well, tbh he kinda is.

"You think money grows on trees?"

Well, technically, money is paper so...ya it kinda does.

"I don't slave around just so you could plunge yourself in all of your whims!"

Uh, actually.

You kinda do though if we refer back to your whole willingly-give-everything-to-you shtick.

So that wasn't real, huh?

ＡＬＬ ＭＥＮ ＤＯ ＩＳ ＬＩＥ.

smh

Taehyung, on the other hand...

Well, his mother’s old but rich sugar daddy just recently passed away and unfortunately all his money and prized possessions were inherited by his one and only beloved son.

All they got was a couple of stupid jewelry, which did allow them to pay for a new (less glamorous) apartment, but still

Eh.

What a complete disappointment.

11+ years of being a sugar baby, all for nothing.

So now it’s back to the slums for the both of them.

Sad reacs for a fallen warrior.

I’m talking about Tae’s mother, not the sugar daddy...

THOUGh rip for him. Uh,,,,

He’ll be missed? I guess???

(1 like of this post = 1 respect for him)

DW about his mother though. She doesn’t seem quite fazed by it.

“This is why if you find a rich old bastard, make sure he doesn’t have any kids. That or have an affair with their kid. Oh well, on to the next one.” She told you and Tae during the funeral.

It’s been three months since.

She’s currently working at a hair salon and also,,,,

Taehyung thinks she’s seeing someone again cause she’s been using her designated “𝑠𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔” parfum.

WHICH you still don’t know if you should be impressed or be concerned about.

Nonetheless, you respect the hustle of this woman. ✊✊✊✊

Unfortunately, her efforts are still not enough to satisfy their expensive needs so that brings us to the present situation.

Actually, it couldn’t have been more perfect though!

You and your best friend coincidentally just happen to be in the same dilemma.

Kind of

Well, not really

Plus, it’s not really the most pleasant circumstance bUT STILL

The point is, you’re in this together and that’s enough for the both of you.

:’)

“Ugh, this totally blows.” Taehyung says as you both sit on one of the food court booths.

“Which one, us not getting any jobs yet or the fact that we’re hanging at the food court?”

“Get used to it, princess. Honestly, you'll find that the food here isn't as disgusting as you think they are." He says as he fishes for his phone in his man purse.

"Well, at this rate, I won't be able to get used to it since I sTILL haven't found a job. Why are the good stores so demanding? Like, an intensive classroom and in-store training only to have a possibility to get hired??? To think that I'm a loyal Louie Button customer!"

(A/n: This is actually a real procedure for Louis Vuitton, at least in my own experience. But I only applied and never went through with the training cause I figured that it just ain't for me.)

You continue ranting your little heart out about how you could sue these stores for unfair treatment.

Taehyung, though, has long tuned you out and has pointed his full attention to his phone.

This is turning out to be a lot more disastrous than what he anticipated.

So he needs to phone a friend in.

Orrrrr a couple.

He's getting desperate, okay??

The entire spring collection was practically screaming out to him when they entered Kucci.

He's a 𝓚𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓲 𝓫𝓸𝔂 through and through.

He hasn't missed a single Kucci season collection in years.

IN YEARS, PEOPLE!

He can feel his right eye twitch at this blasphemy.

"I'm telling you! These stores are absolutely ungrateful-hEY! Are you even listening??"

"No. I thought that was obvious the second I whipped my phone out."

( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

Rude

He didn't even try to deny it.

"You know, I really don't need you to be mean to me right now."

"Sorry y/n but this…" He lifts his phone up, "is more important right now."

What could possibly be more important than your current problem??

If you don't leave today with any form of productivity, you just might have to sell the entirety of your closet.

And we all know that ain't happening.

"By 'that', you mean?"

His phone vibrates a couple of times, indicating that he just received a bunch of messages.

He instantly opens them, disregarding you once again.

I-

Seriously, thIS bOy!

"Hello???? I'm still here and we're still hideously unemployed!"

He looks up to you with a smile that seems a tad bit too eerie.

Okay, this is somewhat alarming ngl.

"I called in some reinforcements."

Reinforcements... Huh?

What's that supposed to mean?

You stare at him with scrunched brows and mouth slightly agape.

And as if on cue, a male voice rings from behind you.

"Tae! We're here!"

"Jimin! Seokjin hyung!"

Ohhhhhhh

*Looks at the camera*

Them.

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

For everyone's information, Taehyung grew up a hair away from the poverty line.

He was in his preteen years when their family found success through his mother's sugar daddy.

He didn't grow up rich whICH there's NOthing wrong WiTh THAT.

A person's financial status does not define them.

Taehyung's friends, however, already have a collective definition in your head.

One word

༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ MESS™

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

A hot mess you are so not willing to become a part of.

Tae keeps them away from you because he knows that they are not the type of people you would associate yourself with.

Which is why you've never met any of them.

...Until today.

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

Guess being besties with a broke Taehyung means it only makes sense that you finally meet them.

♫︎dUN dUn- ok that's enough of that.

"We got the Code 17 message. I can't believe I'll ever get that from you. This is history, man! We need to celebrate!" Someone says accompanied by what sounds like someone wiping a window.

You look at Taehyung with a very displeased look.

May god and every higher being out there give you strength.

He doesn't even look the slightest bit bothered by what might be one of the boldest crossovers to ever happen.

Also, "Code 17"??? Wth?

"What's wrong? You never ask to meet at the food court… And who's this with--oh." A different, softer voice talks this time.

"You guys remember my bestie, right? Y/n? Well, I think it's time you guys finally meet."

From behind you, Seokjin and Jimin share a slightly wary yet excited look.

Jimin, being the natural people lover that he is, instantly thinks that he's about to have another best friend.

From what he's heard from Taehyung, you two are slightly alike, being a total softie.

So don't be surprised if a montage of things like the two of you going on picnics at the mall garden or watching the premiere of the next Disney movie plays in his head.

Seokjin, on the other hand, being the woman lover that he is, instantly thinks that he's about to score big time.

He's heard a lot about you from Tae but the only thing that stuck (and pretty much the only thing that matters) is that you are HELLA rich.

$ ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 $

So are we even surprised that what he imagines is him breezing through the luxury section of the mall, with his personal butlers in tow, and having everyone swoon at him?

“Y/n,” Taehyung gives you a pointed look as if telling you to be nice. “Meet Seokjin hyung and Jimin, two of my other best friends.”

Alright, you heard that these people work here at the mall.

So you’re gonna have to suck it up if it means being stuck with them for god knows how long.

You just hope they have some level of bearableness.

(Oh and some form of acceptable fashion taste too please, thank you very much!)

As much as you're not in the mood to smile, you still plaster on the sweetest one you can muster and turn around to face the two----

Oh

(o.O)

oh oh oh oh ho ho ho ho

Hello

hELLO indeed.

One of them has a white button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black slim fit trousers, and a brown newsboy cap like a cherry on top.

He's also wearing a brown apron with a small name tag that says 𝓙𝓲𝓶𝓲𝓷.

The other guy's more casual with his baby pink t-shirt, french tucked into his black ripped skinny jeans.

Personally, you wouldn’t really call them amazing outfits…

bUT SWEET BABY JESUS ARE THEY DOING THINGS.

GREAT THINGS

(Tbh maybe it’s their handsome faces that do it for you)

"Hi, I'm Jimin! It's very nice to finally meet you."

He extends his hand and you take it in a heartbeat because my god that smile.

Wooooooooooo

Now, that's what greets you into heaven.

"Tae says a lot of good things about you and I think- oof."

Cute pink shirt guy (rudely) shoves him to the side.

Jimin almost topples to the ground and it makes you want to stand and check up on him.

The poor cutie.

For some reason, you feel like Taehyung and pink shirt guy get along well.

"AND I'M Seokjin!"

This time, Seokjin swiftly takes your hand without any warning which leaves you feeling flustered.

“Umm… Nice to meet you..?” You manage to politely croak out.  

He gives your hand a kiss and then drops you a sultry wink.  

Thank god you're sitting right now.  

You'd be a lying fool to say that that didn't make your knees weak.  

But ngl, that’s a face that definitely greets you into hell.  

Like, no offense to his handsome face but you are sure there’s something completely devious going on underneath.  

No one can change your mind on that.  

"OKAY! Enough introductions, we’ll have plenty of time for that later... Where are the others??”  

“Hoseok hyung said that he's with Jungkook and they're on their way to get Namjoon hyung." Jimin says as he fixes his hat that slightly slid off.  

"Well, they better hurry!"  

Taehyung DEFINITELY did not have any reasons to cut your introductions off.  

He just did not like how you are practically drooling over Jimin and Seokjin.  

He’s nOT JEALOUS OR ANYTHING  

It’s just...  

It’s not like you’ve never been close to any hot guys before.  

Uh hello???  

HE’S HOT  

And you’re with him 24/7

Wait…  

Do you even think he’s hot???  

Okay now that’s a thought he never considered before.  

Damn bro  

Now Tae’s having an existential crisis…  

anD hE’s dEfiniTEly NOT jEALous!!!  

ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ  

"WE'RE HERE!"  

All four of you direct your heads to the sound of a new voice and you start to think that Taehyung might actually be playing a joke on you.  

Come on!  

THREE 👏  MORE 👏  HOT 👏 GUYS  👏

???  

This can't be real.  

This is literal heaven!  

Gasp!  

Are.  

You.  

DEAD?!  

Maybe you're right about Jimin being what greets you into heaven!

It all makes sense.  

“Dude, we came as soon as we could. We even pulled Namjoon out of his rabbit hole.” The handsome one wearing a sports jersey says. 

“This better be important. I didn’t even get to ask permission to take a break! I’m supposed to be stocking utensils right now.” The handsome one wearing an atrocious outfit of a bright blue shirt and a much brighter yellow pants chimes in.  

The handsome one wearing loose fitting jeans, a plaid button up and a black t-shirt underneath just stayed at the sidelines not saying anything.  

Out of all of them, you think he’s the most stylish one.  

Your eyes meet while you are assessing his outfit but he instantly looks away.  

A noticeable blush blooms on his cheeks and you almost swoon.  

Awww he’s extra cute.  

“Yeah, cause organising cutlery is more important than a friend in a literal crisis.” Taehyung says in a sarcastic tone.  

“So what are we doing here?”  

“What is this ‘crisis’ you are referring to?”  

“Yo, who is she?”  

Namjoon, Jin, and handsome jersey boy all talk at the same time.  

Ugh you need a massage.  

Being surrounded by these broke handsome men is making you lightheaded.  

“This is Y/n. You know, my other best friend.”

“Oh, your money buddy.” Handsome jersey boy butts in.   

Uh EXCUSE YOU, WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?  

You scoff hard and loud.  

Taehyung clears his throat and you thought he was going to make a comment defending you or something.  

Oh honey, you are wrong.  

Because for the nth time today, he just brushes you off.  

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Anyways, Guys, meet Y/n. Y/n, this is Hoseok hyung, Namjoon hyung, and Jungkook.”  

You didn't think it'd be possible but for the first time ever, you so badly want to rip someone's hair out.  

And not just someone, it's Taehyung.  

Normally, a sassy, moody, rude boy Taehyung doesn’t affect you at all.  

But then again, his negative vibes were never really directed to you.  

And given the current circumstance, you’re also not in the best mood as well.  

So you aren't as inviting as you usually are when you shook hands with the three boys.  

Somehow, even their overflowing handsomeness did not do anything for you now.  

Your presence, however, did something to the three boys.  

AND I MEAN A LOT.  

Confused, attracted, intimidated, confused, in awe, slightly scared, nervous, confused, hungry…  

What? Hoseok hasn’t had lunch and coincidentally, he started feeling his tummy rumble when he looked at you.  

…..  

Fun fact: Hoseok is DEFINITELY NOT A CANNIBAL NOR HE EVER PLANS ON BEING ONE.  

If ever you were thinking...  

“Okay, so here’s the sitch.” Tae starts to explain your situation and everyone listens to him intently.  

Little did you all know, the final member of the friend group just arrived at the food court and is now walking towards where you all are.  

It wasn’t difficult to spot your group with Namjoon’s obnoxiously brightly coloured towering self and the few girls hanging around.  

Probably Jimin’s fanclub.  

“And so, here we are!” Tae finishes, keeping everyone updated.  

"Wow, so you two are looking for an actual job? Like, here? At the mall??" A very baffled Seokjin asks.  

Tae rolls his eyes.  

"Yes. Is that really hard to believe?"  

"Actually, yes. It is."  

Another male voice is heard coming from someplace.  

“Yoongi hyung!”  

Oh great! Another one.  

Surely, this guy’s not that interesting.  

I mean, what are the fricking odds that he’s also an immaculate being??  

You turn around and your mouth drops to the floor.  

No no no no no.  

No way!  

Another freaking gOOD LOOKING GUY HAS WALKED UP TO YOUR GROUP.  

Okay, this is getting unbelievable now.  

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?  

Like, where and how on earth did Taehyung manage to get and round up SIX insanely good looking guys??  

What is this? Are you on The Bachelorette??

Wait no   

It's like Oprah!  

And instead of cars, she's giving away handsome men

You get a hot Asian man, you get a hot Asian man, you all get a hot Asian man!  

OR MAYBE  

Are you on MTV Punk'd?????  

Statistically speaking, a hot guy can have two or maybe three equally hot best friends

BUT SIX???   

ARE YOU KIDDING?  

Is Taehyung like Thanos? Collecting the six infinity stones?  

Thanos? lol.  

If anything, he's more like Henry VIII with his six wives.  

“So you guys didn’t even wait for me, huh?”

Yoongi, oh so casually, just takes a seat beside you   

Without even giving you a single glance or whatnot.  

“I didn’t know you'd be here at the mall today?”  

“Yeah, what are you doing here?”  

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “It’s a free country, I can be here whenever I want to be.”  

Well, can’t argue with that logic.  

The mall is practically your second home at this point.  

“... Also… uTunes is hiring and uh… I’m applying...”  

You don’t understand why but everyone else looks either shocked or annoyed at Yoongi’s announcement... 

Are you missing something here?  

“Man, you need to give it up! That place can suck it.”  

Yoongi gives Seokjin one of the scariest glare you’ve ever seen.  

It could rival against your dad’s famous death glares that he gives to his incompetent subordinates.  

Namjoon shakes his head disapprovingly, “You’re applying there again?? I can’t believe it.”  

Yes, again.  

This is going to be the seventh time he’s applying at uTunes Records, the most popular music shop there is.  

So many people flock to it even though we’re already in the digital age. ��

But he doesn’t question it.  

All he cares about is getting a job there because the employees get to play their own music in the store.  

Do you know how much of a popularity boost that is?  

A CRAP TON.  

On top of that, one of the employees gets a chance to get signed by a record label every year.  

And if you're not awarded by that chance, you can still meet agents and get signed through their many parties.  

Because of that, so many people also apply for a job there.  

But they unfortunately have such high standards which is why even after three years, he still hasn’t passed their vibe check.

"Listen, seven's a lucky number. I have great feelings about this one. Besides, I've built up a strong résumé. Winning one of uTunes' own rookie dj contests must mean something, right? They can't not take me!"   

Wow.  

You've only known Yoongi for a solid three minutes, but you can already tell that he's quite passionate about this.  

"Hyung, all we're saying is that maybe you should consider doing something else? You could do so much more than run after that store." Jimin says and pats Yoongi's hand a couple of times.  

"All of you perfectly know getting a job there could quite possibly set my music career!"  

"Is that really it? Or is it because of a certain Daphne??" Seokjin teases him.  

The rest just mutters an "ooh" or an "aah".  

You seem to have been turned into an accessory.  

You so cannot relate to anything they've talked about since Yoongi came. 

It's like you're at one of your dad's social gatherings and all you can do is smile and nod.  

"ANYWAY," Yoongi interjects in their teasing. "So Tae, you're also looking for a job?"  

Jeez FINALLY.  

Something you can talk about that involves you.  

It felt like you were just back home watching some random show that doesn't require your input.  

Taehyung gives an overly dramatic heavy sigh.  

"Unfortunately, yes. Y/n and I both need one badly. But all the stores had been rejecting us left and right. Like, the audacity!" Taehyung rants all over again.  

Jimin, listens to him intently as if he hasn't heard all of this before.  

Seokjin seems to have been entertaining the surrounding ladies for a while now.

[by giving some ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ and some (•̀ᴗ-)☞  ]  

Across the table, Namjoon complains to Hoseok about getting in trouble with his boss.  

Jungkook, well, he's just staring at the beautiful pizza this kid next to you guys is eating. (Someone's hungry too, okay?) 

While Yoongi just openly stares at you.  

Welp.  

What the frick are you supposed to do now?

Is Taehyung or anyone going to properly introduce you two?   

No???  

Okay fine.  

Seems like you're gonna have to get used to doing things on your own.  

You smile at him and timidly hold your hand out.  

"Uh hi. I'm Y/n. I don't know if Tae's ever mentioned me to you before but--"  

"Oh, trust me. He's mentioned you plenty. He actually never shuts up about you."  

ʰᵉʰ  

Ok  

You don't really know if he was stating that as a fact or if he's trying to be mean…  

"Oh ha ha… That must be really annoying then."  

"Yeah, it is actually."  

Your small polite chuckle died down your throat.  

Wow and you thought Taehyung can be rude.  

hE'S STILL JUST STARING.  

"Uh…" You finally lowered your hand that he obviously isn't going to shake.  

That is definitely going in your top 10 most embarrassing moments ever.  

God, can someone get you away from this guy?  

What's his problem?  

"SO, can any one of you help us? Like, any tips or something?" Tae concludes his really long and repetitive rant.  

Everyone's eyes FINALLY focuses on Tae again.  

Seokjin snorts loudly.  

Eww.  

He opens his mouth to say something but Tae immediately holds his hand up to stop him.  

"Anyone except you hyung. I don't think you're classified."  

Everyone laughs to that and again,  

ARE YOU MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING HERE?  

Seokjin raises one finger like he's trying to make a point. "If anyone is classified to give tips on how to get accepted, it's me!"  

"Yeah, just not on how to last on one." Namjoon loudly whispers to Tae.  

"HEY I HEARD THAT!"  

Ohhh….  

So,  

Does he constantly get fired from a job?  

Well, that's just sad.  

Hopefully you don't end up like him.  

😳  

"Actually," Hoseok starts, "how do you end up landing on so many jobs? Like, don't they know your reputation?"  

And that's your cue to finally insert yourself in the conversation.  

"Uh, what reputation?"  

"Sweetheart, you don't really want to know! It's not that big of a deal." Seokjin quickly steers you away from the topic but the other guys didn't allow it to happen.  

"Oh, you know. Just that, he's known to be the "job eater" here. Cause he pretty much eats a job and moves on from it in a flash." Namjoon graciously fills you in.  

So you were right.  

That's kind of impressive though…  

But a huge waste.  

"Still! It makes me very much qualified to give the unemployed a tip!"  

"Save it hyung, you might need it for your next job once you get fired from Uncle Aang's."  

Seokjin gives everyone a sheepish smile.  

What's that about?  

It almost looks as if he…  

"YOU GOT FIRED ALREADY?!"  

"Oh you bet I did."  

To be fair, how could he not stop himself from eating the free samples? Those pretzels are literal drugs.  

"You just got that job four days ago. I can't believe it!"  

"I can believe it." Yoongi says out loud.  

Can't he say anything nice?  

"Whatever! Point is, these stores still hire me no matter what."  

"You know what, that is a good point." Taehyung mutters, slowly turning convinced by Seokjin.  

Namjoon groans. "Are you for real Tae? If you want some job advice, maybe ask one from us who has only had one permanent job all throughout."  

"Guys, let's give Seokjin hyung a chance!" Jimin, ever the sweet positive boy, suggests.

"Of course you would say that."    

Not wanting to fade into nothingness, you insert yourself again in the conversation.  

"I want to hear what he has to say."  

Once those words left your mouth, you instantly regret it.  

A.) Seokjin gives you another wink and gives you a flying kiss that has you weak in the knees again- I MEAN WHAT. I SAID NOTHING.  

And B.) Yoongi is clearly not a fan of you sharing your opinions with the group.    

Despite the obvious protests of Namjoon, Seokjin still gives his number one "professional" advice  

And that is to have a perfectly 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉 𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 résumé.  

"A high quality résumé? YOU? What the fuck are you talking about?" Yoongi says, slightly amused and slightly tired of the older guy's shenanigans.  

"Don't believe me? Fine. But I'm telling you, it's all here on paper!" Seokjin takes out a folder from his backpack and waves it around.  

Namjoon immediately snatches it from him  

"5 pages long?? Are you for real?”  

Seokjin hums and watches smugly with a cocky grin as the guys read through his résumé.  

“Hang on, since when did you do balloon modelling?”  

"I don't."  

Hoseok gasps. "But bro, isn't that lying?"  

"Yeah, duh! How else are these people gonna hire you? You have to sell them what they're looking for."  

"What if they ask you to use these skills that you clearly don't have?"  

"Then you're just gonna have to fake it till you make it, baby!"  

Huh  

No wonder he doesn't last long on a single job.  

"And how's that working out for you?" Yoongi presses on.  

"Well at least I get hired, Mr. 7th Time's the Charm!"  

Yoongi is like ᶠⁱᵗᵉ ᵐᵉ ⁱ ʷᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵉˢⁱᵗᵃᵗᵉ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ (ง'̀-'́)ง  

"That's not really the point of having a job, but I guess, whatever floats your boat, dude!" Hoseok finally sides with Seokjin.  

"So everyone is looking for a job then?" Taehyung realizes, "this is so cool if all of us get hired! We'll all face the real world together."  

"All of us except Jungkook though."  

Who?  

Oh that extra cute shy boy.  

You forgot he's here.  

Boy really hasn't said a word at all.  

"Did ya hear that? All of us are getting jobs!"

"You should get one too!"   

"That would be so cool!"  

"So what do you say? What are your plans Kook?"  

"Guys, don't pressure the kid!"  

The guys talk simultaneously, ultimately kind of pressuring Jungkook to say something before he even thinks about it.  

The table falls silent and everyone eyes Jungkook.  

The guys are like ( ･ิ ͜ʖ ･ิ) and ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)  

Jungkook is like (ʘ ͟ʖ ʘ)  

Then the guys are like (≖ ͜ʖ≖)  

So jungkook is like (¬‿¬ )  

In the end, they are all like 

(☞°ヮ°)☞ ☜(°ヮ°☜)  

And through it all, you are just ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ  

What the heck is going on?  

"Yeah, why not?" Jungkook simply concludes and the guys make various celebrating noises.  

Gasp!  

He can talk???  

"Okay, everyone calm down! Let's wait until after everyone gets hired before we celebrate." Namjoon scolds everyone.  

"Well that might take a while considering Y/n and I can't find one!"  

Namjoon places a comforting hand on Tae's shoulder. "Oh relax, there's like ten thousand stores in the mall!"  

"Actually, there are only 613 stores in the entire mall." Hoseok points out a matter of factly.  

You all look at him dumbfoundedly.  

Aaaand he just stares back at all of you.  

Is this some kind of trivia that you need to know if you work around here?  

Are you gonna have to memorise a lot of facts about the mall???  

Oh, you don't like that.  

Seokjin was the first one to react.  

"Dude?? What the hell?!"  

"I got bored once while I was on a break and counted."

Huh.  

Makes sense.  

Yeah, sure.  

Why not?  

Why wouldn't you just go and count the total number of stores out of boredom???  

…  

THAT WAS A SARCASTIC REMARK IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT.  

"Even if there are 600 stores here, there are only like, 20 good stores that exist!" Tae remarks   

You want to say you can't agree more but you stop yourself because you don't think you can handle another cold stare from Yoongi.  

"Are you perhaps pertaining to the high end stores?" Namjoon muses.  

"Yeah. What else?"  

Jimin's eyes widen in shock. "Hold on. So you two have only been looking at that small section of the entire mall?"  

"Yeah. Why?"  

Yoongi chuckles condescendingly.  

"Bros, you know that saying… 'Beggars can't be choosers'?" Hoseok tries to enlighten you two.  

You and Tae look at each other.  

What an epiphany.  

A very disgusting yet important epiphany.  

"Are you… Are you guys saying that… We need to find a job… Outside of that section??"  

They all nod.  

Ughhhhhhh  

You and Tae make an annoyed sound.  

"Welcome to the real world, peasants!" Seokjin warmly tells you.  

Could things get any worse?  

"Hey, at least we'll all be here together!"  

Ha ha 

Great . Awesome. Wow.

"Well, on that note, I really need to get back to work. Lady and gentlemen, may the odds be ever in your favour. Good luck!"  

Namjoon stands and walks away.  

One by one, the other working guys went back to work as well, leaving you unemployed slackers.  

Hey they didn't even give any actual help!  

Wasn't that the reason why Tae called for a… What did they call it?  

Code something something.  

Oh whatever!  

Anyways,  

So to summarize things  

You might end up working at an awful low end store.  

And you're unwillingly stuck with the wrong set of people.  

One of them is a total flirt and an actual pain to society.  

Another one might possibly hate you for unknown reasons.   

This tall dude seems to be really uptight.  

Then there's this guy that seems really weird.

The other one, well… He's cute and doesn't really have any negative points yet BUT you're sure something's wrong with him.   

And the last one literally said one thing during the entire time!  

Oh, you've got a really really long way before you can pay your dad.  

Good luck to you, indeed.   

[wiihtigo]

If you're still doing the number thing, pick a random number you haven't answered yet! I'm curious to see which one you would!

Love all of your art btw! Never fails to brighten up my day!

snm ask game here

THANK YOU.....similarly, your comments on my posts always brighten MY day i always smile when i see them >:)

well umm lest seeeeee. yes. will you let me talk for a minute (...) about GAY PEOPLE and why i think sam and maxs relationship is so entertaining to watch..would you be mad. no. ok thank you

10.Favorite ship?

well take a guess. its sam and max....the reason i think sam and max are so charming and like. they just drag people in is because individually theyre great characters but theyre definitely better together, very much a set piece (do not separate) and i feel like in a mainly comedy series that sam and max is its easy to write best friend characters who kind of miss the mark of “these characters are BELIEVEABLE as best friends” like...ok i need to give credit to brain waves where they are due what triggered this line of thought was listening to dear dimwitty (a ducktales podcast hosted by two friends of mine its great btw you should listen to it) and monty (one of the hosts) was talking about how he enjoys it when characters laugh at each other (his examples were a bit in the dt episode they were discussing where dewey i think laughed at a joke louie told in the bg of a scene, and also the crew in star trek....i dont remember which one it was the one with data and geordi i think and he just talked about how its nice to watch because you can really feel like the crew are really friends with eachother through small details in the show like how they have a game night and thigns like that)! like in sitcom series like friends those guys..are not even friends..which is fine the characters dont have to be deep and have fleshed out relationships in a sitcom but just for an example...ive gone on a bit of a tangent but all that talk while i was listening made me go “hey!! thats why i like sam and max!!” (you see? all that talking was related to my point and not just advertising my friends podcast) even though comedy is the main factor in the sam and max series what really ties it all together is the relationship between the two titular characters...and i truly truly believe sam and max wouldnt be nearly as good and funny as it is if sam and max werent written so well as two  individuals who genuinely and whole heartedly care about each other. Theyre best friends and theres no question about it! and its not even written in a way where in chapter one a narrator has to say “this is a story about two best friends” you just have to fuckin LOOK at them for a minute to see, and their office especially which is usually the starting place for each series (its where we first meet sam and max in both the cartoon and games and i BELIEVE the comics...somewhere in the real early ones?) Like they have photos of themselves and eachother plastered all over the walls, they have family photos and pictures of themselves together as children, you see maxs doodles everywhere in the office, he scratched his name into sams desk, its a very LIVED IN if not NASTY space that tells you right away “ok these guys have known eachother for years”, dialogue really helps push this too (now im mostly referencing the games) like sam commenting “i bought this punching bag for max.”, “hey max whered you put this”, “hey max did you feed hubert”, etc etc, when looking at the photos they reminisce, their banter with eachother is just. VERY believable as best friends talking. especially when its sprinkled in with dialogue of them just casually chatting. Most of the time when you talk to max he just says something funny or gives a hint or whatever but sometimes theres dialogue where they just talk to eachother and its like “oh no punchline. they just wanted to chat. ok <3″ and its just very sweet. the “whats your favorite color max?” “orange!” “hey mine too! after all these years theres still so much we dont know about eachother :)” dialogue comes to mind...it made me smile...I think whats also sweet is that sam and max are very OPENLY affectionate with eachother! Sam calls max cute a LOT theyre very touchy feely with eachother, sam is constantly holding onto or touching max, max compliments sam a lot...they tease eachother and max clocks sam to wake him up every morning and sam loves to throw him out the window but well. thats how they show affection <3 also how when sam and max are separated theyre so blatantly miserable and especially sam is super overly worried about max every time something happens to him LOL and i think THESE moments hit all the better because of their well written friendship! its why the rare serious moment in sam and max works and doesnt feel out of place. its because you already know so hard that sam and max love eachother (and like, only each other theyre pretty self centered and dont give much of a fuck about anyone else) so like you as the viewer will be like “oh no! max got kidnapped again! sam is gonna be worried sick!!” and then he is. Because the public already knows how much they care about each other...its not a secret...you cant hide it....i KNOW you care the max

TLDR sams friendship is really well written great job mr purcell youve made some great gay people

[quarkcore]

1-5 for the asks :)

1: Song of the year?

ok so i feel like theres so many contenders for this. This year has been strange for me, and right until i finished my degree, I didnt listen to much new music. I had a real focus on nostalgic faves. Because of that I have a hard time placing a specific favourite; its all just this long blur of old familiar tunes. If we go by my spotify, “Alone Again Or” by Love is my top song, and i cant deny that its absolute bop. If were going by what song i consider my fave right now, its “Lay This Body Down” by Sam Lee.  If i was gonna choose an absolute favourite new track, I think i would go with “Rack Of His” by Fiona Apple. Obviously, her new album is an absolute masterpiece, and thats the song that i just consistently enjoyed the most.

2: Album of the year?

Not Fetch The Boltcutters, surprisingly. For the place I was in, I personally found it just a bit too much to take in. I had a pretty massive shift towards pop, which FTBC just..... isnt. I needed comfort, familiarity, something i didnt need to analyse. With that in mind, The Mountain Goats’ The Jordan Lake Sessions is becoming a real late game favourite for me. I have started listening to stuff that challenges me a bit more again, but i still crave old favourites, and TJLS has packed a lot of old favourites onto one album, while also filling the gap that the lack of live music venues created in my life. Listening to TMG live is a really special experience for me and to have something replicate that, even imperfectly, really meant a lot to me.

3: Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

There isnt an immediate standout for me, so I’m just gonna list a few good contenders. Rina Sawayama, who id technically listened to before, but never to the same extent is an obvious choice, Noname (who id also technically listened to before) is another. Id also listened to the Kinks before, but got into them after watching a part of the umbrella academy and rewatching hot fuzz (they feature on both soundtracks). Ive really been enjoying Dorian Electra, and 100 Gecs became a new favourite in abt the same time period. yet again im limited by how little new music ive listened to lghdkfgj.

4: Movie of the year?

FINALLY ONE I CAN DO!!!!! ITS PARASITE ITS 100% PARASITE!!! nothing has worked its way into my brain in the same way, I’ve watched it 3 times and every single time i went fucking ballistic. i dont think theres anything i can say thats not already been said better, but the single bit that hits me the most is the one where the Kim family’s sub-basement has flooded and the father tells his son “You know what kind of plan never fails? No plan. No plan at all. You know why? Because life cannot be planned. Look around you. Did you think these people made a plan to sleep in the sports hall with you? But here we are now, sleeping together on the floor. So, there's no need for a plan. You can't go wrong with no plans. We don't need to make a plan for anything. It doesn't matter what will happen next. Even if the country gets destroyed or sold out, nobody cares. Got it?” because GOD how fucking real is that. every fucking day im thinking about parasite.

5: TV show of the year?

SPN’s Destiel but only for the bants.

Nah, kidding. its still deep space nine for me right now, but red dwarf is also a contender. both are rewatches (continuing the trend for the year glhfgkj). If you havent watched red dwarf, its a sci-fi sitcom, focussing on Lister and Rimmer, the two lowest ranking people on the ship red dwarf. Along with the Cat (exactly what it sounds like) and Holly, the ships’ AI, they on a quest to return home to earth. If you are a big fan of star trek, and want something extremely funny, and which in many ways critiques utopian sci fi (imo) you cant go wrong. Red Dwarf’s vision of the future is that its more or less the same as now, and thats mined both for comedic purposes, and for more serious plot lines. I first watched it when i was around 10 years old, and going back and rewatching only reinforced my belief that its one of the greatest shows of all time. It has a lot to say abt the british class system, and abt the capabilities of the peopel at the very bottom of society, in my opinion. It also unfortunately has a lot of homophobia and misogyny. The way i personally cope with that is by not watching the only season with an actual human woman (yes, really), and by taking all the  gay jokes to their logical conclusion, and actually headcanoning multiple characters as lgbt. its my show now and i can do what i want.

if youre here, then i assume you know what ds9 is like and why its good.

edit: A) what did tumblr DO to this post, B) i forgot joanna newsom!!! its bc shes not on spotify rip. DEFINITELY a new fave and contender for new fave artist.

[ldarchive]

oc interview meme~

The rules: Answer the following questions as your OC of choice.

I chose Ari. The thing is, Ari hates talking to reporters -- if you hit on the right topic you might get an impassioned rant out of him (see: that scene in ME2 where Shepard starts listing all the ships that went down at the battle of the Citadel), but generally he’s pretty tight-lipped and brusquely Professional. So for this meme I sorta imagined him in like a semi-formal environment where he’d be more comfortable, like maybe if one of his friends was interviewing him or something... I’ve put too much thought into this, whatever!!

1. What’s your name?

Ari Shepard.

2. Do you know why you are called that?

I never got the opportunity to ask.

3. Are you single or taken?

Pretty sure it’s common knowledge that I’m married. The krogan guests at the wedding wanted to eat the reporters, but my husband said no.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

I used to run into stuff really hard for a living. Not sure how much of a talent that counts as, but they keep putting me in the news vids anyway.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

Hey, Kaidan told me about that while we were watching Star Trek once! Really not sure I count, though. I’m just some guy. And not fictional.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue.

7. How about your hair color?

Blond. Well, black. Usually somewhere in-between that.

8. Have any family members?

Sure, lots. My semi-successful diplomacy career did very little to prepare me for family reunions at the Alenko commune.

9. Oh? How about any pets?

We have a dog. Laika. Her adoption papers told me she’s the goodest girl in the whole galaxy. She’s a purebreed, I--we needed a dog with a certain temperament, you know, they’re very carefully vetted. But she’s not spoiled. OK, I can feel my husband rolling his eyes at me: she’s spoiled. But only because she’s earned it. Kaidan named her.

I have a lot of fish, too. They’re more high-maintenance than the dog, believe it or not. 

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

Uh, sitcoms. People on public transit who look at me funny. Reporters, especially if they try to bug me when I’m with my kids. Seriously, cut that [redacted] out. Distance. Uh, politicians--heh. I could go on. 

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

You know, I’m an alright cook. I make a mean pot of soup. Yukagejang is a big comfort food in my house--it’s an old recipe. I usually make a big pot for the kids if Kaidan has to go away on business, but then he’s sad because he doesn’t get to have any. Heh. I grow a lot of the vegetables myself, too.

I have a music collection, too. Physical media. Very old-fashioned, but I lost a lot of my files some years back, and some of that stuff I was never able to find again! That haunts me. There was this one Batarian band... anyway, I’ve been hesitant to add more to it because our home is slowly being overrun by a frankly unsustainable number of kids.

(Editor’s note: Commander Shepard and General Alenko have two children.)

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

I beat Garrus at a sniping contest once. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for that.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

I feel like answering this would violate some sort of military doctrine or Council non-disclosure clause. I really don’t need the Spectres after me - I’m married to one, and that’s bad enough. 

14. What kind of animal are you?

Well, my name means “lion.” I’ve never given that one much thought, but the recruitment posters got a lot of mileage out of it.

Something I heard a lot during the Reaper War, and the aftermath, was that people felt like caged rats. Or their culture’s equivalent. That the Reapers were treating us like filthy little vermin to experiment on and then exterminate. But, you know, I’m from New York, so I’ve always known that rats are mean little [redacted] and that they can absolutely bite back. 

15. Name your worst habits?

...I’ve been a smoker most of my life, so I guess my worst habit is that I’m too damn persistent to give up on anything.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Well, my husband is the only human Spectre. Pretty cool gig, right? Very inspiring of him.

...I think Captain Anderson was the first person whose respect I honestly wanted to earn. That was near twenty years ago, and... that hasn’t changed.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

I’m gay. If you’re trying to ask me out, formal inquires can be sent to General Kaidan Alenko, c/o the Garneau Academy of Biotics, Vancouver-- 

Kiddos, if you’re reading this ten years from now, that was a joke. Also, don’t you have anything better to do than read old interviews about your dad? Finish your homework.

18. Do you go to school?

I’m self-taught with most things. That sounds more respectable than a straight “no,” doesn’t it? I guess this is where I would I say I went to the school of hard knocks, if I was someone who wasn’t funny. Got some pretty remedial tutoring when I joined the Alliance, but that’s about it, unless you count ICT -- which, actually, yeah, I think ICT should count. 

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

I already did. Didn’t think I would, honestly, but here I am. Life takes you weirder places than you’re even capable of imagining.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

There’ve been a few. I appreciate the sentiment, but... heh, actually, no, I don’t.

21. What are you most afraid of?

I think the benefit of having survived a major war is that we have the option to not let fear run our lives anymore. That being said, I’m afraid of the usual mundane stuff. I don’t think it’s very interesting to hash out.

22. What do you usually wear?

I think I dress pretty practically. Durable clothing is great if you’re in the military or are just being assaulted by two toddlers daily. And if you buy everything in monochrome it always matches... Kaidan’s mom really hates that.

23. What one food tempts you?

Anything spicy. Spicy noodles. There’s this great noodle stand on the Citadel we still eat at, but they’re not paying me for an endorsement and I don’t want people crowding me out, so you can figure out the name yourself. It’s the ultimate hangover cure. Not that I would know.

24. Am I annoying you?

Yes, but luckily I’m too polite to say anything.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

I’ve got a hungry dog at home, you know. And two children.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

I spent the first part of my life totally penniless, so it’s weird to say I’m towards the higher end now. It is something I try to be mindful and make good use of... it’s just nice not to have to worry about feeding or clothing my kids. Beyond that, a lot of it goes to various charitable causes. And, well, my husband’s hair gel budget.

27. How many friends do you have?

Too damn many, honestly. You ever tried hosting a party for dozens of people with dextro/levo options, biotic-proof furniture, and enough room for multiple krogan? It’s not easy!

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Mom’s--Kaidan’s mom’s--apple pie. But luckily I married her son and not you.

29. Favourite drink?

Coffee and red wine. Water. Whiskey isn’t bad either.

30. What’s your favorite place?

I’m boring now, so I’ve come to appreciate quiet places and being alone. Well, alone with my family, but they don’t count.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

I would not voluntarily wear a three-piece tuxedo and invite a bunch of people to gawk at me telling a guy I love him unless I was really, really interested.

32. That was a stupid question…

Just a bit, yeah.

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

There’s something about lakes that still kind of skeeve me out. I’m a city boy, so I always feel like I’m going to step on a leech or something. The ocean is nice, though, I grew up on the water. You couldn’t swim in it unless you wanted radiation poisoning, of course, but it was nice to look at. The beaches here on the west coast are pretty fun and not majorly toxic as far as I’m aware.

34. What’s your type?

I guess I’ve always dug the tall dark and handsome thing. Don’t tell Kaidan that, he’s obnoxious enough already.

35. Any fetishes?

Nothing I could talk about in an article my kids might read one day while avoiding their homework.

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

I don’t think camping “indoors” is really a thing. That’s just staying in a house. Come on, don’t say you’re going camping if you’re going to be a lazy [redacted] about it.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

i often feel very worried about how relationships are influenced by the media. there are real ppl out there shipping karamel, which is a totally toxic relationship through and through and they think its ok w it? young girls watch the show and might grow up thinking mon-el is a great boyfriend, that is how healthy relationships shd be... which him disrespecting and putting her down? gosh, it makes me so disgusted and sadd... coming out of a toxic relationship myself it hurts to see it

I’m so sorry you went through something like that! You’re absolutely right– creators have a responsibility to tell the stories that should be told. If they want to showcase unhealthy aspects of a relationship, that’s their prerogative– but if they do, they should also address it as the negative, toxic behavior that it is. 

Whether this particular instance is art mimicking life or life mimicking art, I don’t know. Does American television and film depict toxic behavior as indicators of  true love because misogyny runs so rampant in our society, or is misogyny rampant in our society because our media normalizes it?

Television has a way of normalizing aspects of our society during times of change. Some use their powers for good: Star Trek featured television’s first biracial kiss, Mary Tyler Moore insisted on wearing pants for at least one scene every episode, etc. But it can very easily go in the other direction: the bury your gays trope, the fat-slob-marries-hot-woman sitcom, etc. 

It’s my hope that the change in management on Supergirl will result in a change for the better in this regard. Looking back at Season 2, I can’t help but wonder how much of that mess was a direct result of having a known sexual predator at the helm. Now that he’s gone, I hope we see a return to stories that need to be seen-- messages of hope and help and compassion for all, messages that girls are their own people, and can change the world for the better, in their own ways.

I 100% believe that in the wake of Weinstein culture, and the dramatic surge of anti-harassment activism in American’s tv/film industry, audiences will be far less forgiving of what we saw last season. So if they don’t shape up, they’re going to hemorrhage viewers, and not just fandom viewers, but their bread-and-butter viewers, the casual viewers who tune in for some fun escapism and have spent all year reading and hearing about how women have been silent victims for decades. We’ve hit the ‘enough’ threshold, so the only way forward is to change.

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Young Sheldon /S01\/E01\ Pilot Airdate: September 25, 2017 @CBS Ratings: 16.57 Million :: 3.7 18-49 Demo Share Score: 6.75/10 @SpotlightSaga @CulturePit *************SPOILER FREE REVIEW************* Oh, what a shame... Did we miss the party? You know, I’m not really sure who the demographic is that is giving ‘The Big Bang Theory’ all of its monstrous numbers... Ok, well, I have an idea... But I’d hate to get ahead of myself like my other half, Cody Cole. Besides, everyone is allowed a handful of ‘Guilty Pleasures’, right? I sure as hell know that I’ve got mine. Even tho I don’t use the account anymore, I used to have a Spotify Playlist for songs that appeared on the UPN turned CW Series ‘One Tree Hill’. And yes, that’s embarrassing, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s very much true. I love ‘One Tree Hill’ and I cried like a little baby in S9 when (of course, you know I’m not going to reveal any spoilers, right?) the culmination of the main story arc that started the show off, came to one of the most tearful & satisfying conclusions ever on television. Yes, I love that show that fn’ much, ridiculous, I know... I pretend that S8 didn’t happen... But hey, when you run 9 Seasons of 20-25 Episodes, you’re bound to get some bad ideas some of the time. Now’s when you breathe your big sigh of relief... Judging by its pilot, ‘Young Sheldon’ doesn’t appear to fall in the category of ‘Guilty Pleasure’. Quite the opposite, actually. Remember how we all felt after the 1st Season of CBS ’Life In Pieces’. That hopeful, feel-good spirit was attached to something uniquely constructed with a powerhouse cast, something that didn’t normally happen on CBS, at least in such high quality... A Single Camera Sitcom. While ‘Young Sheldon’ may not look completely unique at first glance, its admittedly giving off a ‘Goldbergs-Mature’ vibe, and that’s hard to deny... But what originality it lacks within the walls of its narrative construct, it more than makes up in a fresh, restrained approach. The normal, tv-family chaos is still there, but at the epicenter of the organized madness, we have an observer... He’s not exactly a reliable narrator in theory, but he is in character. You see, Sheldon tells it like it is... And since this is something that pretty much all human children are known for... Famed Co-Creators & Co-Writers Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro make sure that Little-Man, Iain Armitage (YS), turns up the awkward observations, just like his very own grown version and narrator, Big Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) from TBBT. I’m not so sure Young Sheldon is meant to be abnormally cute, or likable for that matter. The show approaches normal, southwestern families in the 80s with a pragmatic point of view. It’s existential in nature, and feels like a show that could also feel right at home on a Streaming Network like Amazon Prime. Lorre & Armitage also know that since this is from a child’s POV, the world is scary is nature... Even to the smartest, brightest minds around. Rarely do we cover CBS Sitcoms, although we’ve been known to indulge in Bear Claw Heaven with Kevin James on ‘Kevin Can Wait’, and we’re basically almost there with the aforementioned ‘Life In Pieces’... It just had a rough S2. You see, CBS has been gearing up; polishing up the CBS All Access Network, of course TBBT is always a Network Focus, reshooting entire episodes of Star Trek, and making sure Big Brother #768 (or whatever season its on) keeps steady numbers... It’s strange when you think of all the factors that can have some sort of snowball effect on the finished product of a Big 4 Network TV Series. It shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone that clearly the Network Giant’s focus has also very much been on this show as well. It’s clear, crystal clear, that CBS is very much behind ‘Young Sheldon’. To say this series was handled with care is an understatement. It’s polished, introspective, and brushes off chances to pull cheap laughs... Everything a normal CBS Sitcom doesn’t do. Even the placement of its pilot’s timeslot, garnering such big numbers off of the Season Premiere of its parent show, TBBT, has never really turned results in such spectacular fashion as it did here... Holding all 16.5 Live Million Viewers from the first half hour and keeping the mass majority of its coveted 18-49 demographic too. I guarantee they nurse this bad boy all the way through an ungodly amount of episodes. Why not? Honestly, it works. ‘The Goldbergs’ are growing up, right out of the 80s, and AMC’s ‘Halt and Catch Fire’ is heading into its 4th & final season. There’s a niche and it needs to be filled, and it looks like we have our first guest. Many of us have a deep connection to this era the show is set in, but none of us have seen it through this kind of lens. The big question isn’t the quality... You know CBS, it’s about money and longevity, because longevity not only brings in a steady supply of money, it also gives them something to brand... But that’s kind of why it’s so surprising that ‘Young Sheldon’ isn’t coming right out of the gate trying to push anything other than its own value. I have a strict policy when it comes to Sitcoms, whether they’re multi-cam or single-cam, doesn’t matter... Each series gets a fair shake... And a 21 Minute Episode built off a general idea will not tell you how far a show can go or how good a show will be.... Theres just no way! All kinds of shows out there start slow and then end up turning out relentless bangers on a regular basis, a few episodes, or even a season or 2 down the road... And then there is the exact opposite, where we see a show start out red hot and straight up fizzle out like a fading star right before our very eyes. I think it’s important for everyone to not judge this one too quickly... Maybe ‘Young Sheldon’ isn’t for that same ‘TBBT’ audience, maybe it’s meant to strike a different chord. It sure feels like it. ***************Written By Kevin Cage**************** TVTime/Letterboxd/FB/IG/Path/Pin/Tumblr/Twitter: @SpotlightSaga 📺 TVTime📺 http://www.tvtime.com ✅Spotlight Saga FB Page! Give us a like!✅ http://www.facebook.com/spotlightsaga 🚧Spotlight Saga's Main Page is Under Works🚧 http://www.spotlightsaga.com 🔥The Culture Pit FB Group🔥 http://www.facebook.com/groups/ArtsEntertainment @CulturePit Kevin Cage // Justin O'Malley // Cody Cole // Jerry Wilson // Kat Holiday // Carolyn Holt // Yackarette Borge // Carina Enered //

[ramajmedia]

Big Bang Theory: 5 Theories About Penny's Last Name We Wish Were True (& 5 Truths)

Big Bang Theory ran on CBS for 12 reasons. The sitcom centred around the lives of five characters, Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, Howard, and Penny, with two additional main characters added in the later seasons, Bernadette and Amy, along with several other supporting characters and guest appearances.

Despite the intricate geek-speak on the show, since the friends were all science nerds working in physics, engineering, neuroscience, and other similar areas at Caltech University, fans loved the show, making it one of the most popular on television.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 10 Worst Things The Gang Did To Penny 

One exception was Penny, who was a waitress and aspiring actress turned pharmaceutical salesperson who wasn’t into Star Trek, Star Wars, and science like the others. But she was central to the story nonetheless. Yet strangely, Penny never had a last name. Why was that?

Many theories have floated around the Internet, especially since, even in the final episode, her surname was never revealed. Here’s a look at 5 of the most outrageous theories, and 5 truths about why we never found out.

10 Penny Was A Spy: Theory

One of the most outlandish theories suggests that Penny was actually a spy, sent to keep an eye on Sheldon and Leonard. It could make sense, given that they were both working on pretty important research that might interest the government. Indeed, at one point, they did find themselves recruited by the government for a project.

Some theorists even go so far as to say that this is why Penny steals their Internet. It isn’t because she can’t afford her own, but because it makes it easier for her to spy on them. This is just way too far-fetched for a sitcom, though.

9 It Wasn’t Intentional: Truth

The show had aired a number of episodes already, during which time we learned of the surnames of all other major characters, including Sheldon (Cooper), Leonard (Hofstadter), Raj (Koothrappali), and Howard (Wolowitz). Yet we had no idea what Penny’s last name was. In fact, on the IMDb page for the series, it simply shows “Penny” as though she was a minor character, even though she’s listed third on the billing.

Even Bernadette (Rostenkowski) and Amy (Farrah Fowler), who joined the cast later in the series, have surnames, as do supporting characters like Stuart (Bloom) and Bert (Kibbler). But the truth is that it wasn’t intentional to leave out a surname for Penny. It just sort of happened.

8 Penny Was a Stage Name: Theory

Penny did move to California with hopes of becoming an actress. So one theory suggests that not only do we not know her surname, but Penny wasn’t even her real first name. Rather, it was a stage name she adopted in order to get more acting jobs.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 10 Hilarious Penny Memes That Are Too Funny 

It would stand to reason, then, that if Penny wasn’t even her birth name, why would we even need to know her surname? If anything, we’d want to know her real given name. Of course, there’s no truth to this outlandish theory.

7 Producers Got Superstitious: Truth

After the show had been running for a while, producers realized they had never mentioned Penny’s last name. It wasn’t intentional, it just was never discussed and never ended up being written anywhere into the script. And after that, they became superstitious about revealing it.

“We got nervous and superstitious and giving her [a last name],” confirmed executive producer Steve Molaro at the Wondercon panel this past March. It really is as simple as that, though slightly troubling that there was reason to reveal the surnames of the other characters. It could also be that they worked in a formal educational system were many colleagues referred to them as Mr. Cooper or Mr. Wolowitz, whereas Penny, in the beginning, was a waitress who was only ever referred to by others using her first name.

6 It’s Johnson: Theory

Some fans in online forums swear that her last name was Johnson because it was revealed at one point that she married Zack Johnson in Las Vegas, not believing that it was real. If this was the case, then legally, her name would be Johnson, right?

Well, not really. Even if she did marry him, unless she actually filled out official name change documents, her surname would have remained the same. That said, others note that Johnson is the most common surname in Nebraska, where she’s from. So it’s entirely possible that Johnson was her last name anyway, before she even married Zack. But probably not.

5 It's Hofstadter: Truth

OK, so we technically don’t know if Penny ever had her surname legally changed to Hofstadter after marrying Leonard, which isn’t a requirement. These are the types of mundane details that aren’t necessary to show in a sitcom. Though it would have presented a great opportunity to reveal her maiden name.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 10 Biggest Twists & Reveals, Ranked 

Nonetheless, at the Wondercon panel in March, executive producer Steve Molaro confirmed that Penny’s last name “will always be Hofstadter.” Some have criticized this notion, saying it implies that Penny didn’t have an identity until marrying Leonard. But the truth is that she was Penny, and that’s her identity. She doesn’t need a last name to confirm it.

4 It’s Longbottom: Theory  

In addition to speculation about Johnston, some others report believing that the name was Longbottom. Yet there’s no reference to prove this and it seems to be nothing more than Internet lore.

The theory is that this name was indicated on episode transcripts, which someone, somehow got wind of and “leaked” the details. But again, this hasn’t been substantiated, so really, it could have been anything written on those early transcripts. Only a select few people actually know the truth.

3 Kaley Cuoco Doesn’t Want to Reveal It: Truth

Kaley Cuoco, the actor who played Penny for all 12 seasons, says she doesn’t really want to ever reveal what Penny’s last name was. “It’s kind of a personal thing,” she told CBS News in 2017. “It feels like a jinx. We haven’t said it for so long. I feel like if we said it, the world would explode.”

This implies that Cuoco knows what Penny’s last name is supposed to be, presumably having seen it in the original scripts. Either way, it sounds like fans will never find out.

2 She Doesn’t Have A Last Name: Theory

Like Cher or Madonna, some suggest that Penny simply doesn’t have a last name. Of course both Cher and Madonna, and every other one-named artist, actually have surnames. So this is one of the sillier of the many theories.

And in actuality, this “theory” was first presented by Kaley Cuoco herself, meant to be in jest. This was her response one time when asked about the mysterious missing name. The truth is that Penny did have a last name, as anyone would.

1 Kaley Cuoco Was More Concerned About the Elevator: Truth

While Kaley Cuoco, who plays Penny, seemed fine with the character’s surname never being revealed, as she noted in interviews prior to the final episode airing, there was one thing she did want to get resolved before the series came to a close: that darn elevator that was always  out of service in the building.

She got her wish, as in the final episode, the elevator was finally fixed, much to the shock and awe of Sheldon, who rode in it with Penny for what seemed like the first time. The running joke throughout the series is that the elevator was always out of service, leaving the gang to trudge up several flights of stairs to their apartments. The time they spent walking, however, was when many important conversations took place.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 5 Relationships Fans Were Behind (& 5 They Rejected) 

source https://screenrant.com/big-bang-theory-penny-last-name-theories-truths/

[whoinwhoville]

That ever-growing 50 questions meme

Challenge Game with FIFTY some-odd questions- wheeeeeew!

I was tagged by the fabulous @countessselena​. Thank you for the happy distraction :D

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag people you want to get to know

1. Coke or Pepsi: Not much of a pop drinker, but when I have a migraine, it’s Pepsi

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Disney

3. Coffee or Tea: Both. First thing in the morning,  16 oz tumbler of Italian roast with splash of half n half and a teaspoon of raw sugar. Occasionally, tea in the evening. But normally, just water after the coffee.

4. Books or Movies: Books. But I *do* love movies.

5. Windows or Mac: Mac. We converted 100% in 2009 after our PC and home wireless network was hacked and taken over by malware.

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel

7. Xbox or Playstation: Mr. Who has a PS3, but only plays Modern Warefare, nicknamed “Shoot Bang” by the Whoettes when they were littles. I don’t play.

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: ???

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: Early riser, but not by choice. I get up at 5:30 to get 11 yo Littlest Whoette on the 6:30 school bus. Ideally, I’d be up at 6:45 every day. I love the quiet of the morning.

10. Cards or Chess: I like chess, but haven’t played in years.      

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate!

12. Vans or Converse: Definitely Converse. Vans were a thing when I was in high school (cough cough graduated in ‘86).

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: What does this mean?

14. Fluff or Angst: Flangst. Angst before the fluff, but never angst for the sake of angst. And Angst Lite.

15. Beach or Forest: Both. Can’t separate the two -- I’m originally from Seattle, so the forest meets the beach in the most beautiful places on earth.

16. Dogs or Cats: Doggies, but kitties are growing on me.

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Rain

18. Cooking or Eating Out: Cooking. It’s my hobby, and I’m pretty good, too!

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Spicy Thai (3 stars), medium salsa. Mild everything else

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Christmas

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Little cold - you can always add layers.

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Flying.

23. Animation or Live Action: Live action.

24. Paragon or Renegade: Paragon

25. Baths or Showers: Showers daily, baths as an indulgence, especially with a Lush bath bomb.

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Iron Man

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi? Sci-Fi

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so, what are they? Oh, gosh, far too many! Here are a few.

29. YouTube or Netflix: Netflix.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter

31. When You Feel Accomplished: When I finish a fic that I loved writing, get it posted, and finally fix the typos that truly did not exist before I posted it. LOL. When the house is clean. After working in the garden. After making a great dinner.

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Both, but Star Trek was first.

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Hardback.

34. Handwriting or Typing: I’m better at typing (was clocked at 120 a minute (not kidding) when I was a clerk, first job out of college). But when I’m on a roll, I have lovely cursive.

35. Velvet or Satin: Neither. I can’t associate anything good with either. LOL.

36. Video Games or Movies: Movies

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? Be.

38. Sunrise or sunset: Sunrise. Full of promise for a new day.

39. What’s your favourite song? Someone To Watch Over Me (Gershwin)

40. Horror Movies yes or no: NOPENOPENOPE. I do like a good psych thriller, though.

41. Long hair or short hair: I have uber short hair, just the way Mr. Who likes it. And for that I’m thankful, because I can get out of the house in 20 minutes, including the shower and full makeup.

42. Opera or Theatre: Both!

43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? Doctor Who.

44: If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? Salad. Not kidding. I love fresh greens. I’m not a vegetarian, so occasionally I’d add chicken. But I do love bread, too. And fresh artisan, crusty bread goes great with salad.

45: Older guys or young guys? OLDER. That’s always been a thing. So go figure, I marry a man one day older than me.

46: If you could erase any show from TV history, what would it be? Too many to list, but not choosing a worst among the numerous, SVU, because it creeps me out. Also, I really don’t like most modern sitcoms. They are so irritating. Love classic, plus Seinfeld, The Middle, Malcolm in the Middle, Everybody Loves Raymond.

47: Singing or dancing? Singing. My daughters tried to teach me the floss last night, and I looked like I was flossing my butt. (see video at bottom of post-- i can’t get it to appear here.

And don’t get me started on whip and nay nay. I look like I’m saluting a senior officer.

48: Instagram or Twitter? Instagram. Lots of pretty things.

49: What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS?

I’m going to just keep what @countessselena said.

That cheating is normal and unavoidable and people should expect it. That it’s OK to objectify people or treat them badly because they allow it.  That ANY crime is the fault of the victim. Argh. So much BS out there. It’s simple:

1) People should respect others and treat all people as persons of dignity and worth,

2) People are responsible for their own actions.

That’s it.

50: If there was a time period that you would gladly time travel to to live or visit, what would it be?

I’d love to visit the 1940s. Yes, it was wartime, but I would be honored to experience that Greatest Generation who fought selflessly and valiantly.

51: If you could take one fictional character into this world to live with you and what not, under the contingency that the movie/book/tv/game universe they came from acts as if they never existed, who would it be and why? 

So basically, this question is asking which character we want to live in as an AU? LOL. I don’t know.

52: What’s the story behind your tumblr account?

I was a very active ElJay member from 2011 - 2013-ish. The site was having a lot of problems with hacking (it was hosted in Russia) and downtime. Also, the DW fandom was unfortunately becoming a bit mean spirited. I created a tumblr account when perhaps a dozen ELJay members had one. I didn’t really understand it, though, because it wasn’t very active. And then the mass exodus occurred and Tumblr exploded, and ElJay faded away. I deleted that original Tumblr account in September of 2015 for personal reasons. (At the time, I had about 5000 followers.) @kelkat9 had graciously saved my username, so I signed back up last December. And here I am again, nowhere near the follower count I had before. But I love each and every one of you!

53: If you could have the clothes/fashion of any character, who would you choose? Audrey Hepburn!!!!!!

54: If you could be any character in any book/play/movie/tv series, who would it be and why?

Rose Tyler. Even with all of the pain and danger, does it need saying?

55. (My Question) Do you have a hobby that is crafty or handmade (ie.  knitting, crochet, drawing, sculpture)?

Tagging @itsonlythesoaps, @caedmonfaith, @deathlyfandoms, @emkaywho, @faithosaurus-fics, @gingergallifreyan, @hanluvr, @jeeno2, @julibellule, @ktrosesworld, @lastbluetardis, @mrv3000, @perfectlyrose, @veritascara

Ignore if you’ve already done it.

[kristablogs]

The best ways to legally stream movies and TV for free

Why pay for the cow when you can have the milk for free? (JESHOOTS.COM via Unsplash/)

When trusty ol’ streaming platforms start to feel a little stale, you don’t have to resort to binging Parks & Recreation for the fifth time (though it couldn’t hurt, honestly). If you’re stuck inside looking for things to watch, you might be surprised by how many free movies and shows are ripe for the picking on your TV.

Whether you’re using your TV’s built-in smart features or a standalone set-top box like the Roku or Apple TV, you’ll find a huge selection of channels that have some free content, even well-known names like NBC, Fox, and Adult Swim. Many of those are limited if you don’t have a cable subscription, but some, including those with lesser-known names, offer whole movies and TV seasons for no cost at all.

First, temper your expectations just a tad. These channels are free for a reason, so they won’t have tons of big-budget flicks or the latest releases. Mostly, you’ll find a lot of B-movies and classic sitcoms, with a few standouts from more recent years mixed in. There’s also a decent amount of crossover, and catalogues rotate periodically, just like Netflix. Depending on when you’re reading this, the titles below may no longer be available, but they will give you an idea of what the selection and experience looks like.

Crackle

Sony’s Crackle channel has quite a large selection for a free channel, with lots of genres to choose from. Whether you’re a horror fan, an action nut, or just looking for a comedy, you’ll probably find something here. You’ll find critically-acclaimed movies like Fury and The Social Network alongside older titles like the Ace Ventura series, Failure to Launch, Midnight in Paris, and (weirdly) some classic sequels like Airplane II, Naked Gun 33 ½, and some of the Star Trek movies. It also has lots of classic sitcoms, plus also a few recent shows that were decent but didn’t do well, like Marry Me and Mr. Sunshine. There are probably some great ones I didn’t get to see, though, because browsing the app on my Roku was a terrible experience—the platform has only one visible row and an auto-playing video in the background. But if you can put up with that, there’s definitely a lot to watch.

Vudu

There you go—now you're ready for movie night. (Javardh via Unsplash/)

Vudu is primarily a movie-and-TV-buying service, with rentals and purchases similar to iTunes or the Google Play store. It does, however, have a decent selection of free stuff you can watch with ads, from movies like the Lethal Weapon series, V for Vendetta, or—if you need something a bit more upbeat—Superbad and Happy Feet. It has a few TV shows, but its definite strength lies in feature-length films, so check it out if you’re looking for a way to kill a couple hours.

The Roku Channel

Roku has curated their own channel of free movies and TV, showcasing slightly older movies like Hook, The Karate Kid, and Rudy, alongside TV shows like Schitt’s Creek, Without a Trace, and a stable of classic sitcoms like Bewitched. There’s also a lot of reality TV. It’s primarily designed for Roku users (obviously), but it’s also on the web and mobile devices, so you can watch it through your Fire TV’s browser or through AirPlay on your Apple TV.

Tubi

Tubi is not a household name, but I found the app pleasant with a decent selection of usual classic titles, alongside moderately-recent movies like Minority Report, Black Hawk Down, and Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Unlike some of the other channels, though, it has a lot of specific, easily browsable categories like family movies, black cinema, and the cleverly-titled “Not on Netflix,” which makes it a bit easier to find something you’re bound to like.

Filmrise

"Ok, tell me the truth: Can you tell I spent the last two weeks watching '70s Batman?" (Eye for Ebony via Unsplash\/)

Filmrise is one of the few channels that keeps things simple: It’s a big list of movies in a basic interface that’s easy to browse and shares a lot of content with other free channels. I did find some fun titles like Lars and the Real Girl, Legally Blonde, The Illusionist, and Memento (one of my personal favorites). It has a few lesser-known TV shows as well, alongside a few bigger names like 3rd Rock from the Sun, Adam West’s Batman, and lots of Gordon Ramsay. You’ll find those elsewhere, too, but Filmrise has one section I didn’t see lots of other places: live concerts. So if you feel like watching a performance from the Rolling Stones, The Who, Stone Temple Pilots, or Dream Theater, Filmrise has a few to choose from.

Popcornflix

Similar to Filmrise, Popcornflix is a simple, browsable database of free movies and shows. You’ll find classics like Clue and the original Italian Job, modern comedies like Young Adult and She’s Out of My League (which I maintain is funnier than it gets credit for), and some action thrown in for good measure. There’s an awful lot of crossover with other free channels on this list, but it’s worth a peek anyway.

Pluto TV

Pluto TV is a bit different from your typical streaming channels. Instead of a selection of always-available movies and shows, Pluto TV is more like Live TV, with “channels” like BET, Comedy Central, Fox Sports, Spike, Westerns, and even a 007 channel playing classic Bond films 24/7. You can’t start a movie from the beginning, so you’ll have to do things the old-school way and watch what’s currently on. But I suppose it’s nice if you’re the kind of person that likes to flip around channels rather than deal with a single decision. You may also find this built-in to your TV as its own input: Samsung calls it TV Plus, and Vizio calls it WatchFree.

Crunchyroll

Side effects of watching too much Crunchyroll include: an unquenchable thirst to do cosplay, sparrow face, and captioning your Instagram photos with "uwu." (doil oh via Unsplash /)

If you’re an anime fan, you probably already know about Crunchyroll. If you aren’t an anime fan—or you were in the past but haven’t kept up—there’s plenty to (re)discover here. The selection of shows is huge, and most of them are available for free, with the main exception being the latest episodes of some newer titles. You’ll just have to put up with ads unless you pony up.

Plex

While Plex started out as a way for you to stream your own shows across your home network, the company has expanded into a ton of streaming content, including news, web series, movies and shows. It’s a similar type of selection you see with other services, with a few standout titles like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (which is leaving in March) and Killing Them Softly, plus some good but lesser-known series like The Dresden Files. Browsing will be familiar to anyone with a Netflix account, and Plex does a good job of splitting its large library up into more specific categories for easy browsing. You do, however, need a free account to stream.

Hoopla

Hoopla isn’t available to everyone, instead partnering with some local libraries and schools across the country to provide streaming movies, shows, and audiobooks to their members. You’ll find a similar selection to the above streaming services, but it also has titles I didn’t see in many other channels, like What We Do in the Shadows (seriously, watch it) and Good Will Hunting. It also has a remarkably large selection of family-oriented stuff, from The Pokémon Movie to 13 Going On 30. You’ll need to create a free account, but as long as your local library is supported by Hoopla—you can check when you sign up—you’ll have a pretty big selection to choose from.

Sling TV

If you’ve cut cable TV out of your life, you probably know all about Sling, the pseudo-a-la-carte live TV replacement. But alongside its live channels, Sling has a selection of free streaming content that you can watch without an account. A lot of it is news-based, but you’ll also find a few shows like the 21 Jump Street TV series, Hell’s Kitchen, and Grounded for Life. Sling’s free selection is probably one of the weaker I’ve seen (as most of its notable shows are available on other channels), but it’s worth checking out as you browse.

[scootoaster]

The best ways to legally stream movies and TV for free

Why pay for the cow when you can have the milk for free? (JESHOOTS.COM via Unsplash/)

When trusty ol’ streaming platforms start to feel a little stale, you don’t have to resort to binging Parks & Recreation for the fifth time (though it couldn’t hurt, honestly). If you’re stuck inside looking for things to watch, you might be surprised by how many free movies and shows are ripe for the picking on your TV.

Whether you’re using your TV’s built-in smart features or a standalone set-top box like the Roku or Apple TV, you’ll find a huge selection of channels that have some free content, even well-known names like NBC, Fox, and Adult Swim. Many of those are limited if you don’t have a cable subscription, but some, including those with lesser-known names, offer whole movies and TV seasons for no cost at all.

First, temper your expectations just a tad. These channels are free for a reason, so they won’t have tons of big-budget flicks or the latest releases. Mostly, you’ll find a lot of B-movies and classic sitcoms, with a few standouts from more recent years mixed in. There’s also a decent amount of crossover, and catalogues rotate periodically, just like Netflix. Depending on when you’re reading this, the titles below may no longer be available, but they will give you an idea of what the selection and experience looks like.

Crackle

Sony’s Crackle channel has quite a large selection for a free channel, with lots of genres to choose from. Whether you’re a horror fan, an action nut, or just looking for a comedy, you’ll probably find something here. You’ll find critically-acclaimed movies like Fury and The Social Network alongside older titles like the Ace Ventura series, Failure to Launch, Midnight in Paris, and (weirdly) some classic sequels like Airplane II, Naked Gun 33 ½, and some of the Star Trek movies. It also has lots of classic sitcoms, plus also a few recent shows that were decent but didn’t do well, like Marry Me and Mr. Sunshine. There are probably some great ones I didn’t get to see, though, because browsing the app on my Roku was a terrible experience—the platform has only one visible row and an auto-playing video in the background. But if you can put up with that, there’s definitely a lot to watch.

Vudu

There you go—now you're ready for movie night. (Javardh via Unsplash/)

Vudu is primarily a movie-and-TV-buying service, with rentals and purchases similar to iTunes or the Google Play store. It does, however, have a decent selection of free stuff you can watch with ads, from movies like the Lethal Weapon series, V for Vendetta, or—if you need something a bit more upbeat—Superbad and Happy Feet. It has a few TV shows, but its definite strength lies in feature-length films, so check it out if you’re looking for a way to kill a couple hours.

The Roku Channel

Roku has curated their own channel of free movies and TV, showcasing slightly older movies like Hook, The Karate Kid, and Rudy, alongside TV shows like Schitt’s Creek, Without a Trace, and a stable of classic sitcoms like Bewitched. There’s also a lot of reality TV. It’s primarily designed for Roku users (obviously), but it’s also on the web and mobile devices, so you can watch it through your Fire TV’s browser or through AirPlay on your Apple TV.

Tubi

Tubi is not a household name, but I found the app pleasant with a decent selection of usual classic titles, alongside moderately-recent movies like Minority Report, Black Hawk Down, and Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Unlike some of the other channels, though, it has a lot of specific, easily browsable categories like family movies, black cinema, and the cleverly-titled “Not on Netflix,” which makes it a bit easier to find something you’re bound to like.

Filmrise

"Ok, tell me the truth: Can you tell I spent the last two weeks watching '70s Batman?" (Eye for Ebony via Unsplash\/)

Filmrise is one of the few channels that keeps things simple: It’s a big list of movies in a basic interface that’s easy to browse and shares a lot of content with other free channels. I did find some fun titles like Lars and the Real Girl, Legally Blonde, The Illusionist, and Memento (one of my personal favorites). It has a few lesser-known TV shows as well, alongside a few bigger names like 3rd Rock from the Sun, Adam West’s Batman, and lots of Gordon Ramsay. You’ll find those elsewhere, too, but Filmrise has one section I didn’t see lots of other places: live concerts. So if you feel like watching a performance from the Rolling Stones, The Who, Stone Temple Pilots, or Dream Theater, Filmrise has a few to choose from.

Popcornflix

Similar to Filmrise, Popcornflix is a simple, browsable database of free movies and shows. You’ll find classics like Clue and the original Italian Job, modern comedies like Young Adult and She’s Out of My League (which I maintain is funnier than it gets credit for), and some action thrown in for good measure. There’s an awful lot of crossover with other free channels on this list, but it’s worth a peek anyway.

Pluto TV

Pluto TV is a bit different from your typical streaming channels. Instead of a selection of always-available movies and shows, Pluto TV is more like Live TV, with “channels” like BET, Comedy Central, Fox Sports, Spike, Westerns, and even a 007 channel playing classic Bond films 24/7. You can’t start a movie from the beginning, so you’ll have to do things the old-school way and watch what’s currently on. But I suppose it’s nice if you’re the kind of person that likes to flip around channels rather than deal with a single decision. You may also find this built-in to your TV as its own input: Samsung calls it TV Plus, and Vizio calls it WatchFree.

Crunchyroll

Side effects of watching too much Crunchyroll include: an unquenchable thirst to do cosplay, sparrow face, and captioning your Instagram photos with "uwu." (doil oh via Unsplash /)

If you’re an anime fan, you probably already know about Crunchyroll. If you aren’t an anime fan—or you were in the past but haven’t kept up—there’s plenty to (re)discover here. The selection of shows is huge, and most of them are available for free, with the main exception being the latest episodes of some newer titles. You’ll just have to put up with ads unless you pony up.

Plex

While Plex started out as a way for you to stream your own shows across your home network, the company has expanded into a ton of streaming content, including news, web series, movies and shows. It’s a similar type of selection you see with other services, with a few standout titles like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (which is leaving in March) and Killing Them Softly, plus some good but lesser-known series like The Dresden Files. Browsing will be familiar to anyone with a Netflix account, and Plex does a good job of splitting its large library up into more specific categories for easy browsing. You do, however, need a free account to stream.

Hoopla

Hoopla isn’t available to everyone, instead partnering with some local libraries and schools across the country to provide streaming movies, shows, and audiobooks to their members. You’ll find a similar selection to the above streaming services, but it also has titles I didn’t see in many other channels, like What We Do in the Shadows (seriously, watch it) and Good Will Hunting. It also has a remarkably large selection of family-oriented stuff, from The Pokémon Movie to 13 Going On 30. You’ll need to create a free account, but as long as your local library is supported by Hoopla—you can check when you sign up—you’ll have a pretty big selection to choose from.

Sling TV

If you’ve cut cable TV out of your life, you probably know all about Sling, the pseudo-a-la-carte live TV replacement. But alongside its live channels, Sling has a selection of free streaming content that you can watch without an account. A lot of it is news-based, but you’ll also find a few shows like the 21 Jump Street TV series, Hell’s Kitchen, and Grounded for Life. Sling’s free selection is probably one of the weaker I’ve seen (as most of its notable shows are available on other channels), but it’s worth checking out as you browse.

[haroldgross]

New Post has been published on Harold Gross: The 5a.m. Critic

New Post has been published on http://literaryends.com/hgblog/fall-tv-2017-new-stuff/

Fall TV 2017: The New Stuff

OK, I can’t (and don’t want to) watch everything. But here are my initial impressions of the new crop of stuff after the first episode (or so). I’ll likely post what survived my schedule later this fall.

In no particular order:

The Orville I expected to really dislike this show, but it continues to surprise me. For all its weakness (usually around its broad humor moments), it is trying to ride the line of satire and homage and doing it well. In many ways it is more Star Trek than the latest Trek offering, which makes the timing of this drama especially interesting in contrast to Star Trek: Discovery.

Star Trek: Discovery The franchise had a middling opening on the script and acting front, but no worse than Next Generation’s launch. It’s easy to forget just how bad the first season of TNG was, but it was really pretty bad. It survived due the vacuum of similar shows and went on to become something rather good.

Discovery is burdened by a future we know, so it really will be the characters that sell this, not the plots, per se. So far, the characters aren’t particularly compelling..so much so that even the first two hours didn’t elicit from me a gasp. And the technology and creature anachronisms are frustrating.

You can see the Bryan Fuller (Hannibal, American Gods) influence on the bones of this show, but his exit and subsequent rework by Paramount is leaving it in an uncomfortable place. The energy is odd and the sensibility feels at war with itself. It may find its feet over the season, but I can’t say the pilot filled me with curiosity to come back for more the way The Orville did. And by the end of the third episode I was left wondering if they were trying to remake themselves in the image of Babylon 5 (even more so than DS9 did).

There is a big universe for Discovery to play with, though it feels like a lot more of the same. That can be good and bad. TNG and DS9 both expanded the Star Trek universe in different ways to differing success with the same underlying issue. But is it worth a separate subscription fee to see every week? Right now, I’m thinking not, though if it were on free broadcast I’d probably give it more time. We shall see how it develops.

Good Doctor Weak start but with some stuff to build on. Unless the writing picks up, however, the story alone isn’t enough to hold it together or keep me coming back. Just too many medical gaffs and overwrought moments. It was good to see Antonia Thomas (Lovesick/Scrotal Recall) in a larger production to get her broader exposure. And, writing issues aside, while Freddie Highmore (Bates Motel) has created an interesting character in the lead, Graham Verchere as his younger self just isn’t up to the task which is weakening the story.

Young Sheldon Surprisingly engaging for a spin-off tale. Keeping the Sheldon we know as a bridge definitely helps, but the solid relationships and struggles of the family are also well done. While the young Sheldon is good, Raegan Revord as his twin sister and Zoe Perry (No Pay, Nudity), as his mother are the real stars of this sitcom so far.

Me, Myself, & I Had to see this for the cast and the conceit. As it turns out, it was better than I anticipated, though not brilliant. The 30 minute format is very tight for 3 characters across time every week. Very frenetic to follow. The potential is there. It is up to the writers to make it work. So far, they are not impressing me.

Will & Grace Seriously it is like there wasn’t a 10 year gap, which is bloody impressive. From the opening moments through to the end, the show still has its original, ephemeral magic. You either love or hate, but you can’t fault it for maintaining the magic.

Inhumans An incredibly weak launch to a show that had huge potential and one of the longest set-ups (via the Marvel movies and Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D) I can ever recall. Even the solid talent, like Iwan Rheon (Residue, Game of Thrones) and Ken Leung (Lost, Star Wars: Force Awakens) couldn’t overcome an obvious, plodding, and ill conceived story. The world is incompletely thought through, the rules nebulous at best, and with a depth measured in millimeters. While I will give it another episode or so to see if it finds its feet, after the end of the double-episode launch, I was gnashing my teeth at the ‘surprise’ ending. If it is emblematic of the kind of scripts, and it appears it is, that are to come, it isn’t going to keep me in attendance. And I thought Iron Fist was going to be the nadir with the hope that it would serve as the TV division’s Iron Man 2; I wish I’d been right.

The Gifted Another incredibly weak start for an action/adventure in a crowded and over-worked field. I’ll give anything with Amy Acker (Much Ado About Nothing) a shot, but this only gets one more before a decision is made. Just too serious and too much of the same, even if it is spawned from one of my more favorite branches of the X-Men universe.

10 Days in the Valley While intense, this is a slow burn of a train wreck and tragedy. It is good to have Kyra Sedgwick () back on screen, but not sure I’m looking for this kind of a character and story at this time. I do have some police procedural frustrations with the show, but I could get over them. Really the issue is timing.

9JKL Great concept and some talent in the cast, including Linda Lavin, David Walton, and Liza Lapira. But the writing and directing are just awful. This one died on my list in the first episode. I didn’t even see any hope for it.

Kevin (Probably) Saves the World I have to admit this one pulled it out at the very end for me…at least enough to give it a shot. It has that Joan of Arcadia feel to it, amusingly given Jason Ritter’s (Carrie Pilby) presence. It could quickly get tiresome, but they avoided some initial pitfalls. And I have to admit I enjoyed the heavy Amy Adams/Arrival vibe they gave the first episode. Still, it isn’t like we haven’t seen this story in the past (usually as horror) and their rules are squishy at best…either he is the only one or the other 35 meteorites anointed the rest of the gang and the rest is just for comedy. Will give it another round to see where it goes, but it will need to step up its game to keep me.

Ghosted So this is The Orville of X-Files. It was just good enough in its launch to get another shot, but it only made it the first 15 minutes of the second. It just isn’t written well enough nor are the main characters all that engaging for me. I imagine it will find an audience out there, but it may not be enough to survive.

Wisdom of the Crowd Probably the most attuned to the sense of the day and with a great conceit. Admittedly, it is a bit forced and it dances around the law quite a bit. But for all its weaknesses in credibility, it is terrifyingly willing to tackle some real social issues and technology. In addition to Jeremy Piven (Mr Selfridge) we also get Natalia Tena (Game of Thrones) to help drive it forward and both have some good chops to do so.